Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Agony of Uncertainty

I spent part of this day listening to dd13 tell me (again) that I was ruining her life (again) because I was homeschooling her. I was reminded that I lured her home under false pretenses and that I had failed to make good on my promises. I was given a random and increasingly far reaching list of reasons why I should let her return to public school. I am exhausted and she is happily playing "beauty salon" with her sisters.

I wish I still had the emotional elasticity of a teenager. To be crushed one minute and euphoric the next, in a way that doesn't require medication, must be lovely. It would be especially helpful when dealing with anyone who is a teenager. I have such a struggle not taking things personally and with helping my daughter recognize the emotional damage she is capable of doing.

I think the question that troubles me the most is the one about making the best decision for my daughter. Is it TRULY the best thing for HER to be a home school student? Am I REALLY able to provide her with the education she needs? It's a hard question to ask and even a harder one to answer. After all, I have a bias. Why is it that when you answer the hardest questions of parenting, you don't get to find out if you were right or wrong for a very, very long time...if ever?


  1. Parenting sounds hard - lucky for your kids they have awesome parents. Hang in there!

    (From: Your sister's good friend)

  2. She's 13. No matter what you were doing, you'd be doing it "wrong" in her mind, at least part of the time. She complains to you because she feels safe and loved. If she's not acting out in other areas, I'd feel pretty confident that you were doing the same thing.