Preparing to Begin

It seems unreal that we've been "at home" for almost three weeks now.  I can't decide whether it seems like just yesterday we were buried in boxes or it seems like a lifetime ago.  Either way, we are truly getting settled here now.  We've held school consistently for two weeks.  In fact, we've been WAY more consistent than the public schools thanks to the normal conditions offered up by winter weather.

I've got a file of blog posts to add when I get my computer, an old wi-fi less desktop, to communicate with my new, super wonderful, wi-fi hotspot.  Until then, I'll just muddle on as best I can.  If you are a faithful reader, know that the gaps will be filled in as soon as I open the lines of electronic communication.

I went to the library today and checked out more books on farming.  It's good to feel comfortable enough with the progress of the house to focus on something besides boxes.  We had our first small farm college class last week.  The night was an overview of things to come with an emphasis on goal setting, mission statements and writing a business plan.  We have been working this week on writing a mission statement but the business plan has us stymied.  We are really unsure about what we can do with the farm.  The possibilities are almost overwhelming and we are looking to this course to help us find focus.  At the very least, it will give us time alone together weekly for the next three months.  That's definitely worth the price!

I suppose I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that all is going well and that I intend to keep blogging.  It feels like I've been gone for way too long.  It's wonderful to be at a place where things feel like they are beginning instead of being in limbo.  It's good to be home.

Anticipating 2011

I began this blog one year ago today with the intention to write.  I feel I've done that pretty successfully.  I didn't make 365 entries, I did manage to blog 209 times.  It's a start.  It's a great start, when I think that the year before I hadn't blogged anything, ever.  I wanted to be a writer but never took time to write.  I'm still not really a writer but I do write more regularly.

This year, a new challenge awaits.  We are beginning, hopefully, a new life.  We are taking on a farm.  Assuming, of course, that Wells Fargo approves our loan in the next week.  It's interesting to me that a pre-approval letter only means that you might be able to get a loan not that you will actually get a loan.  It seems like a total waste of time.  I'm wishing I'd realized that pre-approval doesn't guarantee approval a few months ago.   

I'm hoping that the farm will be all that we dream.  I'm hoping it will bring us together as a family.  Since we are now living in two adjoining hotel rooms, it seems pretty certain that we are being brought together.  Perhaps my expectation of togetherness didn't look quite like this but I'll take what I can get.  I'm hoping the farm will give us new learning experiences and opportunities.  I'm hoping that we will become more caring for ourselves, others and the world around us.  I'm  hoping that we will thrive and grow and glorify God in all that we do.

This year hasn't started as expected.  We were supposed to own our farm by now.  We were supposed to be camping there this weekend and meeting the movers with all our things on Monday.  Yesterday, we had to call the movers and have them put our things in storage.  We are praying that it's a short term situation.  While we wait, we'll eat out, explore the area, swim in the pool and spend time together.  In every unexpected situation, I believe we have the option to anticipate good or bad.  We are choosing to anticipate the good and enjoy every blessing that comes our way.  It's not a bad way to live a year. 

A Recent Addition

Since we've begun to home school high school I felt that creating a blog just for that adventure might be a good idea.  I purchased a copy of The Well-Educated Mind by Susan Wise Bauer a few months ago and read it along with a stack of other high school prep and advice books.  Not surprisingly, the techniques and purpose resonated with me and I came back to it and The Well Trained Mind almost exclusively when getting down to the nuts and bolts of planning.

As we've begun our journey and are attempting to put my plans into practice, I found myself re-reading The Well-Educated Mind and realized that I'd completely neglected to begin my journal as suggested in chapter three.  This blog has been very motivating to me in regard to accountability.  I imagine a blog devoted to our journey through time and literature will be equally motivating.  And so, I've created just such a blog called A Commonplace Book.  Come join me there sometime.

Yet Another List - Potential Blog Topics

It's another one of those times when I've got so much on my mind that I don't know where to begin.  The danger, of course, is in not beginning at all.  I don't want to fall into that trap so I will make a list of the things that I could potentially write about then choose one and get on with it.

the boy and dad I saw at the science museum today - boy looking very average, dad with a mohawk, leather studded vest and ear full of metal
a room full of strangers
a new Bible study
meeting new people
virtue verses vanity
first impressions
beauty
conversations I want to have with my daughters
conversations I want to have or wish I'd had with my mother
temporary single parenting
summer schedules
societal standards of beauty
setting standards for our family
enforcing the standards we set
pieces of our vacation I want to capture
why we make choices we didn't intend to make
making the best use of time
living intentionally
moving more toward green
how being green meshes with my faith
starting a blog about incremental greening
why I'm torturing my children and myself with music lessons this summer
why I find my husband's new tattoo irritating
getting to know others
never really knowing anyone
the comfort of having a car mechanic that I trust not to rip me off
the even greater comfort of having a car that's paid for and how that's so much more important to me now than I ever imagined it could be
life with a tattoo
a year in review concerning our foreign exchange student
parenting techniques - particularly how to deal with lying and when a child won't eat a taco
baking bread
making pasta
summer learning
friendships - the effort and the pay off
Uncle Bob
the scale of friendship
judgement
Christianity and the Bible
millions of years verses creation
the way the brain works - how Galileo and others help us see more clearly
my amazing children
Father's Day minus the father
the business of birth
Netflix instant
definitions of beauty - world and God

plus there's another really great topic that I thought of earlier but now that I'm making this list I'm totally unable to bring it to mind.

Head Clutter

I've spent the last two evening trying to write something, anything.  I go through my days thinking of topics I'd like to write about later.  Later arrives and nothing comes easily.  I guess this is writer's block.  It feels more like being buried. 

My head is cluttered.  I try to get a hold of one corner of something to write about.  I give it a little tug and either it sticks fast or causes a landslide.  A piece breaks off leaving me with a useless idea and no words.

I'd like to write about my recent struggles with feeling like myself.  I'd love to spend a few days exploring my frustrations and contemplations concerning relationships and connecting with others.  I long to share my thoughts about religion, politics, priorities, homebirth, safe cleaning products, sunscreen or dog food.  Unfortunately, I'm clogged.

As a result,  you have an entire post on how I can't think through anything to write.  It reminds me of eighth grade English.  I survived that so I'm fairly certain I'll survive this too.  I hope you are still around when I figure out how to sort the clutter.

Finding a Niche

Niche
2 entries found.
Main Entry: 1niche
Pronunciation: \ˈnich also ˈnēsh or ˈnish\
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Middle French, from nicher to nest, from Vulgar Latin *nidicare, from Latin nidus nest — more at nest
Date: 1611
1 a : a recess in a wall especially for a statue b : something that resembles a niche
2 a : a place, employment, status, or activity for which a person or thing is best fitted b : a habitat supplying the factors necessary for the existence of an organism or species c : the ecological role of an organism in a community especially in regard to food consumption d : a specialized market

I've read repeatedly that my blog needs to have a niche. While I have a vague idea what that means, I've been stumped by how to find a niche so I thought I'd start with the obvious beginning, a definition of that which I seek.

As I look over the definitions, I'm struck by the idea of a niche as a place where one is displayed and as well as nurtured. As a mother, I love that idea. I believe I aspire to provide (or be) a niche for each of my children, a recess (be it a safe place in a wall or a break from the daily grind), a place where they are best suited and a habitat supplying the factors necessary for their existence.

In aspiring to be a niche for four amazing creatures, is it possible to create a niche for myself? For what place, employment, status, or activity am I best fitted? What factors are necessary for my existence and how are those supplied to me?

The things I enjoy most, in no particular order, are cooking, eating, reading, laughing, listening, watching, smiling, teaching, learning and talking. I like the idea of creating things but am very rarely creative. I am exceptionally fitted for being a wife and mother. I have also been fitted for a variety of paying occupations over the years, none which I am inclined to continue or return to. I think the status that would best satisfy me would be one that enabled me to have what I want, when I want it without having to lift a finger to get it. Unfortunately, that status also comes with it's downsides. Being very small, bald, unable to speak and having to wear diapers are among them.

My children tell me I should open a bakery. I'm not sure how to blog a bakery but it sounds lovely.

The things that I feel are necessary for my existence, again in no particular order, are air, water, love, affection, chocolate, warmth, my children, shelter, books, my husband, food and most particularly sweet food, bread and cheese, also fruit and salad, and wine, perhaps beer too, clothing, shoes, towels, soap, toothbrush, hairbrush, lotion, washing machine, toaster oven or microwave, cork screw.

I think my list could continue on but I'm not sure it's helping me find a niche. So, I'll head back to the definition and try it again. My role in my community currently seems rather withdrawn. I don't tend to stray far from home. I'm not leading anything or anyone outside my home. I'm only peripherally involved in outside activities and have little interest in taking on more.

As for a specialized market, I guess if forty something, stay at home, homeschooling mothers of four who love to cook and read but don't really want to miss a thing that happens with their families yet long for travel and adventure, who support birth options beyond the conventional o.b., choice in vaccines, better education for health consumers, breastfeeding, classical education, environmental awareness and ending hunger is a specialized market, I could fill that. Somehow, I'm afraid that's a bit too broad and specialized at the same time.

I suppose my search for a niche continues. Maybe I should just be looking for the recess in the wall.


Niche. (2010). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.
Retrieved January 12, 2010, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Niche

Thanks Pedro! I Didn't Know What I Didn't Know

Let me just say, it's a good thing I left the tequila out of my Bloggiesta. The amount of information that I've received, just on my first mini challenge is staggering and tequila would not have helped my reeling mind.

I didn't know that I didn't know anything about feedreaders or RSS. And this is just my first mini challenge. In fact, it's a flashback mini challenge. If they are all this educational, I may not get into the new challenges until next Bloggiesta.

I didn't know anything about vanity tags and how to keep track of yourself.

I didn't know anything about creating and saving blogs for later use.
I've got a saved blog entry scheduled to go out next week while I'm in Mexico.

I didn't know that I needed a niche.

I didn't know that I needed goals.
I suppose my first goal is to finish the Bloggiesta mini challenges even if it takes me all of 2010.
My second goal is to be consistent in my blog. Now that I know how to save and schedule blogs it seems possible!
My third goal is to find a niche.

I didn't know what the heck a favicon was and now check me out!

I didn't know anything about labels.
I've labeled all my posts and am keeping an eye on the way others label their blogs.

I didn't know what anchor text was.
I've got a basic understanding of html that will help me make my blog and comments better

I didn't know I needed a cheat sheet.
My cheat sheet just keeps growing.

I didn't know that you could add a page up arrow on to your blog page.
Look to the right and there that little guy is! Thanks, Kate at The Never Ending Shelf for sharing those great tips in your Design it Up series!

I didn't know that I should be copyrighting my blog. Not that I think anyone will really want to steal what I write but one can always hope.
Check out the bottom of that page and then use that cool up arrow at the right to come back here. Neat, huh!?

Ole!

Look Who Has Come to Join the Fiesta!

Welcome Pedro! It's good to have friends. Thanks Amy!

Bloggiesta: Where's Pedro?

I think I've done it again. Blame it on the tequila, the chips and the guacamole! I have no idea what I've gotten myself into but I know that I have nothing to lose. So, I suppose the first item on my list of things to learn for making my blog better is how to get Pedro to join me... It's a slow start but it's all I've got right now.

1. Find Pedro. Invite him to vist and hope that he stays.
2. Work on the communication problem between my camera and my computer so my blog can include some pictures.
3. Learn all I can about being a responsible blog owner.

An early failure...

I suppose the pressure is off now. I've only been keeping my blog for one day and totally missed 24 hour period that would have been day two. Today...yesterday, I'd intended to wax poetic about a variety of topics: life, love, laundry, family, food, feelings, rights, regrets, religion, peace, politics, books, movies, music. Alas, the time is late and my commitment is weak. I can only improve from here.

Although, I suppose that "technically" this counts. I've made an entry. Something has been written. I commit to doing better tomorrow...today.

Amen.

New Year Resolutions

Each January 1 provides the perfect opportunity for a fresh start. The temptation to clean out the old and welcome the new is often overwhelming. The limitless possibility of what new could be stretches out before me. The list of complaints concerning the old is endless. Changing from old to new can come with a crush of disappointment when the new mimics the old. Due to past disappointment, I've grown cautious when setting off down the path of resolution.

This year, I have decided that some risks are worth taking and that the old is unacceptable. The new must be different because the old is a mire of inaction and apathy. Any action at all will bring more positive results than paralysis.

And so, I find myself here, doing something new. Talking to myself in public. I'm determined to expose myself in unlikely ways in an unlikely location. As a writer. Writing.

My intention is to write. Daily. To learn about expressing myself and to develop the ablility to express myself well. The reason I'm writing in public is to give myself a measure of accountability. I need a record of my success/failure/progress/lack of progress. I need a measure of myself. This forum is my measure. I'm hoping it will be, in time, a record of growth. I hope to see the kind of results that my children see when they look at the pencil marks next to the door in our kitchen. Last year I was here. Now I'm here. Next year I might be here.

For now, I'm content to have made a beginning. Sometimes the first steps are enough to celebrate.