We are now at fool me three times. I suppose we should be full of shame. I certainly feel foolish, used, betrayed. My beautiful 15 year old daughter fooled me three times. Trust is so far gone that I'm not sure how we will ever get it back. Today I was served with a court summons. Delinquent. It's sobering to see that word applied to your child. I look at her beautiful face and wonder how such a word can possibly describe her.
Earlier in the summer my daughter got caught sneaking back into a friends house after going to a party with her boyfriend and drinking. We discovered that the sneaking around and drinking were an ongoing habit. Lovely. My daughter spent the remainder of the summer under my direct supervision. Sleepovers are no longer part of her world. Parental supervision when visiting with her friends is a requirement.
Two weeks ago, we allowed my daughter to go with her boyfriend and another couple to their school's homecoming. It was the first time we'd allowed her to go anywhere without direct parental supervision since last June. It was the first time we'd allowed her to ride in the car with a teenage driver. After the couples left for the dance, we discovered (thanks to some text messages) that vodka was part of the plan. We had no confidence that the kids would remain at the dance, despite what they'd told us or the limits that we'd placed on them. My husband went to the dance to confront our daughter. Unfortunately, our hopes of keeping our concerns quiet was impossible when the school officials and sheriff got involved. All four of the kids involved were charged with underage drinking.
Today, my doorbell rang and I was greeted by a sheriff with a court summons. We had a nice chat. He liked my tattoo. Evidently, several families in town received a similar summons today. Homecoming was a busy night for the sheriff's department evidently. In twelve days we go to court. We'll probably see several people we know there. My daughter will be pleading guilty. She is. No doubt. I have no idea what the consequences will be nor the cost. She'll pay them all. Hopefully it will be a lesson learned, a lasting lesson.
Maybe I've learned something in all of this too. Perhaps, I won't be fooled again.
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Friday, October 14, 2011
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Not Just Any Ice Cream
We are home, not a decision has been made but we did find that ice cream that I predicted. It's good to accomplish something even when everything else is still up in the air. The ice cream came from an unexpected source, one of our favorite places in the Parkersburg area, Holl's.
For those of you that haven't had the pleasure of experiencing Holl's you just need to know that it is a chocolate lovers paradise. It's set up like a jewelry store displaying each chocolate in a loving and delicious way. It's the first and only chocolate store I've ever seen give chocolate the staging and respect it deserves. Chocolate is truly showcased at Holl's in a way that sets in apart. Not just the display but the chocolate and filling combinations. There is no fluff here, no mallow, no artificle colors or flavors. Chocolate, milk, dark and white, and the very best fruit, caramel, and for some, nuts are the only ingredients necessary.
If you are fortunate enough to visit Holl's during strawberry season (true strawberry season, not trucked in strawberry season) then the chocolate dipped strawberries are to die for. They must be eaten relatively quickly. I personally prefer not taking them out of the parking lot but one can wait up to two hours, if possessing incredible will power.
If you miss strawberry season, it's possible to find many other outstanding favorites and spend more than $50 on chocolate in less than 15 minutes. Trust me, I've done it. However, the point of this story wasn't to wax poetic about chocolate or sing the praises of Holl's, it was to tell you about finding the ice cream.
We pulled up to Holl's this afternoon and were intrigued by the sign hanging on the front claiming gourmet ice cream bars. We love ice cream and have had some excellent ice cream. Our local favorite is Graeter's and I doubt you can find better ice cream anywhere on the planet. I must admit I was sceptical about gourmet ice cream bars. I scored my $50 worth of chocolate and was preparing to leave when my beautiful children asked in their most angelic voices if they might please, have an ice cream bar. Being their mother's children they, of course, requested chocolate. Being a chocolate loving mother I could not refuse their precious request. Out of the store we came with two gourmet chocolate ice cream bars and I must admit that they were delicious. Chocolate chocolate chocolate, cold and creamy, on a stick. Heavenly. Score another one for Holl's.
As I said earlier, we are still waiting at the crossroads. No changes to report yet but lots of possibilities. And delicious ice cream. I am blessed in so many ways and those ice cream bars are my reminder to pay attention to the blessings even when I'm not sure what's coming next.
For those of you that haven't had the pleasure of experiencing Holl's you just need to know that it is a chocolate lovers paradise. It's set up like a jewelry store displaying each chocolate in a loving and delicious way. It's the first and only chocolate store I've ever seen give chocolate the staging and respect it deserves. Chocolate is truly showcased at Holl's in a way that sets in apart. Not just the display but the chocolate and filling combinations. There is no fluff here, no mallow, no artificle colors or flavors. Chocolate, milk, dark and white, and the very best fruit, caramel, and for some, nuts are the only ingredients necessary.
If you are fortunate enough to visit Holl's during strawberry season (true strawberry season, not trucked in strawberry season) then the chocolate dipped strawberries are to die for. They must be eaten relatively quickly. I personally prefer not taking them out of the parking lot but one can wait up to two hours, if possessing incredible will power.
If you miss strawberry season, it's possible to find many other outstanding favorites and spend more than $50 on chocolate in less than 15 minutes. Trust me, I've done it. However, the point of this story wasn't to wax poetic about chocolate or sing the praises of Holl's, it was to tell you about finding the ice cream.
We pulled up to Holl's this afternoon and were intrigued by the sign hanging on the front claiming gourmet ice cream bars. We love ice cream and have had some excellent ice cream. Our local favorite is Graeter's and I doubt you can find better ice cream anywhere on the planet. I must admit I was sceptical about gourmet ice cream bars. I scored my $50 worth of chocolate and was preparing to leave when my beautiful children asked in their most angelic voices if they might please, have an ice cream bar. Being their mother's children they, of course, requested chocolate. Being a chocolate loving mother I could not refuse their precious request. Out of the store we came with two gourmet chocolate ice cream bars and I must admit that they were delicious. Chocolate chocolate chocolate, cold and creamy, on a stick. Heavenly. Score another one for Holl's.
As I said earlier, we are still waiting at the crossroads. No changes to report yet but lots of possibilities. And delicious ice cream. I am blessed in so many ways and those ice cream bars are my reminder to pay attention to the blessings even when I'm not sure what's coming next.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
A Lesson in Trust Part 2
Today, I have a guest writer. As a consequence of K13's behavior that I shared previously, she had to write a paper outlining what she'd done, why it was wrong and how her actions lined up with God's expectations. I've been given permission to share her paper here.
It is important to think over your decisions before you make them. Ask yourself is this safe? Why am I doing it? Would my parents approve? If you are about to do something that endangers your life or someone else’s life (by even a little bit) do not do it. Are you doing it because you want to or are you doing it so you do not look scared or stupid? Just because other kids are doing it does not mean you have to. Trust is important. You need to have a trustworthy relationship with your parents. To keep a trustworthy relationship, you must make decisions that you know they would approve of.
On June 22, 2010, I spent the night at my friend’s house. At around 11:30pm we snuck out of her house and walked to her boyfriend’s house. If you are about to do something that is past curfew without your parents’ or another adult and your parents’ permission, do not do it. In Indiana it is against the law for children under the age of 18 to go out without an adult past 11:00pm on weekdays and 1:00am on weekends. The punishment for this the first time is a warning and ride home. The second, third, fourth and so on it is a $500 fine and 90 day jail term.
Once we were at her boyfriend’s house, he and a couple of his friends snuck us into the house. It is also against the law to trespass on private property. There is no punishment for trespassing once on property that is not marked private property. But, if the same person continues to trespass on the property, there is a fine and possible jail time. Just because you won’t get in trouble the first time does not mean you can do it. Do not take the risk. It is against the law, so, do not do it.
One of the boys that was at the house had a an illegal drug with them. Tens of thousands of people die annually from the usage of illegal drugs. Using drugs especially as a teenager is bad not only for you but the people around you to. Drugs make you do thing that you shouldn’t do. In Dodge City, Kansas five teenagers high on marijuana. Killed a stranger for no obvious reason. In West Palm Beach, Florida three teenagers mixed beer, rum, cocaine, and marijuana. Then they kidnapped a tourist from Brooklyn and set them on fire. Drugs also cause problems in our country such as violent street gangs, family violence, the spreading of ADIS, and babies born with cocaine dependency.
There are a lot of teenagers that do drugs. The average age for kids to first try drugs is 13. Two-thirds of all American teenagers try drugs before they finish high school. one in sixteen high school seniors smoke marijuana daily.
Just because some teenagers don’t go to church that is not why they are doing drugs. In fact, the percentage of teenagers that go to church and do drugs is not very much lower than the percentage of teenagers that don’t go to church and do drugs. 61% of teenagers that do marijuana and/or cocaine don’t go to church but 49% of them do.
In the Bible, it has some things to say about drugs. In Exodus 20:12 it says "honor your mother and father". Do your parents want you to do drugs? If yes, then you might want to get someone else’s opinion. In Galatians 5:19-21 it says, "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft [which includes the use of drugs]; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissension, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."
The boys had been popping pills before we got there. Drugs are sometimes used for medical reasons but, unless your parents or a doctor give them to you, don’t use them. They can be very harmful when used in the wrong way. Don’t over dose on the drugs that you have permission to use. That can be especially harmful. Just because most people say that using medicine in a way that it is not meant to be used in is safer than using drugs or drinking does not mean they are right. In fact they aren’t. One in five teenagers abuse medicine and the numbers are growing. One of the reasons that the numbers are growing is because medicine is easier to get. All that teenagers have to do is take them from the medicinal cabinet. Using medicine can make you high. The long-term effects are bad withdrawal symptoms, normal side effects (for the medicine that is being used) and addiction.
Two of the boys were smoking. Another growing problem in American teenagers is smoking. 80% of smokers begin before the age of 18. Of those about 3,900 smoke every day and of those 1,500 become regular smokers. 90% of smokers begin before age 21. In 2005 23% of high school students had smoked with in the last month. A way to tell if someone is smoking is they will have secondary behavioral issues such as violence, they are more likely to use drugs or drink alcohol and have a high-risk of sexual behavior. There are many reasons that teenagers start smoking. It may be because of low self-image or self-esteem, the availability of cigarettes if there parents or siblings smoke or the lack of parental involvement in their lives. Smoking is bad for you and the long term effects are not worth looking "cool" in front of your friends. Here are some of the long term effects: reduced stamina, chronic cough, bad breath, yellow teeth, stinky clothes, and it is an expensive habit, A pack a day could add up to $1000 a year. A lot of kids smoke but that does not mean that you have to.
It is not safe to go out without an adult, there are some very confused people that could hurt you if you do. There are about 2,000,000 child molesters in the United States of America and around 55 in southern Indiana. Almost 800,000 children go missing each year most are from family abductions but around 58,000 are strangers that abduct and demand ransom for the child’s release. Most of the children that are abducted are recovered but the small percent of children that are abducted and murdered are dead within three hours of the abduction. The short-term and long-term effects an abduction has on a family are emotional impact, stress, guilt and mourning. If I would have been abducted my family would have been very upset they would have had to call the police, report a missing child, and then they would have to just wait until the authorities found me, if they did find me. During the time that I’d be gone the whole family would be very worried and upset. It would break their hearts that someone had taken me from them. I am now aware that when I was picked up by the state police it was a blessing. If I had been abducted or raped the impact that it would have had on me and my family would have been terrible. It would have crushed me and my loved ones.
On our way home we were pulled over by the state police. We were given a warning and a ride home. What we did was very dangerous and I thank God that it was the state police that picked us up and not someone that could have hurt us.
This verse has some information that applies to what I have done. 1 Peter 1:14-16 says that do not do what is evil in the eyes of the Lord "Be Holy, Because the Lord is Holy." This means that we should follow in the Lord’s steps and, be as much like him as we possibly can because if we do what is right in his eyes we do what is honoring our parents.
Other verses that apply are Ephesians 5:1-17. The verse in this that is think applies the most is 11-12 it says do not walk in the ways of evil for even speaking of what they do in private is shameful. By making choices that I knew were wrong I was walking in the way of evil. Hebrews 12:5-11 reminds me that I am disciplined for my own good and it leads to peace and righteousness.
I would like to close my report by apologizing again for taking your trust for granted and doing things that I know you would not approve of. I love you very much and hope I may earn your forgiveness and your trust back.
I hope you approve of my report and know that I will never do anything like that every again.
The People Affected by My Decisions
1.My Family
2.Briteny’s Family
3.Ricky's Family
4.Oma and Opa
5.Austin
6.TJ
7.Ricky
8.The Police Officer
9.Briteny
10.Me
11.Lucy Lane
12.Makalya
Information I Used for my Report
WWW.FAMILYWATCHDOG.US
WWW.MISSINGKIDS.COM
WWW.PREVENT-ABUSE-NOW.COM
WWW.ACEP.ORG
PUBLIC.FINDLAW.COM
ANTISEX.INFO/EN/MOLESTER.HTM
hamptonroads.com
www.leaderu.com
www.familyfirstaid.org
Heyman, Richard (2001). How to say it to Teens. Prentice Hall Press
It is important to think over your decisions before you make them. Ask yourself is this safe? Why am I doing it? Would my parents approve? If you are about to do something that endangers your life or someone else’s life (by even a little bit) do not do it. Are you doing it because you want to or are you doing it so you do not look scared or stupid? Just because other kids are doing it does not mean you have to. Trust is important. You need to have a trustworthy relationship with your parents. To keep a trustworthy relationship, you must make decisions that you know they would approve of.
On June 22, 2010, I spent the night at my friend’s house. At around 11:30pm we snuck out of her house and walked to her boyfriend’s house. If you are about to do something that is past curfew without your parents’ or another adult and your parents’ permission, do not do it. In Indiana it is against the law for children under the age of 18 to go out without an adult past 11:00pm on weekdays and 1:00am on weekends. The punishment for this the first time is a warning and ride home. The second, third, fourth and so on it is a $500 fine and 90 day jail term.
Once we were at her boyfriend’s house, he and a couple of his friends snuck us into the house. It is also against the law to trespass on private property. There is no punishment for trespassing once on property that is not marked private property. But, if the same person continues to trespass on the property, there is a fine and possible jail time. Just because you won’t get in trouble the first time does not mean you can do it. Do not take the risk. It is against the law, so, do not do it.
One of the boys that was at the house had a an illegal drug with them. Tens of thousands of people die annually from the usage of illegal drugs. Using drugs especially as a teenager is bad not only for you but the people around you to. Drugs make you do thing that you shouldn’t do. In Dodge City, Kansas five teenagers high on marijuana. Killed a stranger for no obvious reason. In West Palm Beach, Florida three teenagers mixed beer, rum, cocaine, and marijuana. Then they kidnapped a tourist from Brooklyn and set them on fire. Drugs also cause problems in our country such as violent street gangs, family violence, the spreading of ADIS, and babies born with cocaine dependency.
There are a lot of teenagers that do drugs. The average age for kids to first try drugs is 13. Two-thirds of all American teenagers try drugs before they finish high school. one in sixteen high school seniors smoke marijuana daily.
Just because some teenagers don’t go to church that is not why they are doing drugs. In fact, the percentage of teenagers that go to church and do drugs is not very much lower than the percentage of teenagers that don’t go to church and do drugs. 61% of teenagers that do marijuana and/or cocaine don’t go to church but 49% of them do.
In the Bible, it has some things to say about drugs. In Exodus 20:12 it says "honor your mother and father". Do your parents want you to do drugs? If yes, then you might want to get someone else’s opinion. In Galatians 5:19-21 it says, "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft [which includes the use of drugs]; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissension, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."
The boys had been popping pills before we got there. Drugs are sometimes used for medical reasons but, unless your parents or a doctor give them to you, don’t use them. They can be very harmful when used in the wrong way. Don’t over dose on the drugs that you have permission to use. That can be especially harmful. Just because most people say that using medicine in a way that it is not meant to be used in is safer than using drugs or drinking does not mean they are right. In fact they aren’t. One in five teenagers abuse medicine and the numbers are growing. One of the reasons that the numbers are growing is because medicine is easier to get. All that teenagers have to do is take them from the medicinal cabinet. Using medicine can make you high. The long-term effects are bad withdrawal symptoms, normal side effects (for the medicine that is being used) and addiction.
Two of the boys were smoking. Another growing problem in American teenagers is smoking. 80% of smokers begin before the age of 18. Of those about 3,900 smoke every day and of those 1,500 become regular smokers. 90% of smokers begin before age 21. In 2005 23% of high school students had smoked with in the last month. A way to tell if someone is smoking is they will have secondary behavioral issues such as violence, they are more likely to use drugs or drink alcohol and have a high-risk of sexual behavior. There are many reasons that teenagers start smoking. It may be because of low self-image or self-esteem, the availability of cigarettes if there parents or siblings smoke or the lack of parental involvement in their lives. Smoking is bad for you and the long term effects are not worth looking "cool" in front of your friends. Here are some of the long term effects: reduced stamina, chronic cough, bad breath, yellow teeth, stinky clothes, and it is an expensive habit, A pack a day could add up to $1000 a year. A lot of kids smoke but that does not mean that you have to.
It is not safe to go out without an adult, there are some very confused people that could hurt you if you do. There are about 2,000,000 child molesters in the United States of America and around 55 in southern Indiana. Almost 800,000 children go missing each year most are from family abductions but around 58,000 are strangers that abduct and demand ransom for the child’s release. Most of the children that are abducted are recovered but the small percent of children that are abducted and murdered are dead within three hours of the abduction. The short-term and long-term effects an abduction has on a family are emotional impact, stress, guilt and mourning. If I would have been abducted my family would have been very upset they would have had to call the police, report a missing child, and then they would have to just wait until the authorities found me, if they did find me. During the time that I’d be gone the whole family would be very worried and upset. It would break their hearts that someone had taken me from them. I am now aware that when I was picked up by the state police it was a blessing. If I had been abducted or raped the impact that it would have had on me and my family would have been terrible. It would have crushed me and my loved ones.
On our way home we were pulled over by the state police. We were given a warning and a ride home. What we did was very dangerous and I thank God that it was the state police that picked us up and not someone that could have hurt us.
This verse has some information that applies to what I have done. 1 Peter 1:14-16 says that do not do what is evil in the eyes of the Lord "Be Holy, Because the Lord is Holy." This means that we should follow in the Lord’s steps and, be as much like him as we possibly can because if we do what is right in his eyes we do what is honoring our parents.
Other verses that apply are Ephesians 5:1-17. The verse in this that is think applies the most is 11-12 it says do not walk in the ways of evil for even speaking of what they do in private is shameful. By making choices that I knew were wrong I was walking in the way of evil. Hebrews 12:5-11 reminds me that I am disciplined for my own good and it leads to peace and righteousness.
I would like to close my report by apologizing again for taking your trust for granted and doing things that I know you would not approve of. I love you very much and hope I may earn your forgiveness and your trust back.
I hope you approve of my report and know that I will never do anything like that every again.
The People Affected by My Decisions
1.My Family
2.Briteny’s Family
3.Ricky's Family
4.Oma and Opa
5.Austin
6.TJ
7.Ricky
8.The Police Officer
9.Briteny
10.Me
11.Lucy Lane
12.Makalya
Information I Used for my Report
WWW.FAMILYWATCHDOG.US
WWW.MISSINGKIDS.COM
WWW.PREVENT-ABUSE-NOW.COM
WWW.ACEP.ORG
PUBLIC.FINDLAW.COM
ANTISEX.INFO/EN/MOLESTER.HTM
hamptonroads.com
www.leaderu.com
www.familyfirstaid.org
Heyman, Richard (2001). How to say it to Teens. Prentice Hall Press
Friday, June 25, 2010
A Lesson in Trust
My 13 year old daughter was brought home in the middle of the night on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning in a state police car. I never thought about how it might feel to have that happen. If I had given it any thought, I'm pretty sure I thought of my own embarrassment, how I'd explain that or how I'd feel to have a kid who was that bad. I'm working hard to raise good kids. I worry about not teaching her enough about taking care of a house or car, balancing her checking account, healthy meals, basic cleaning, laundry. I spend time planning lessons for her that involve Latin, algebra, ancient history, biology not Beginning Delinquent 101.
The crazy thing is when I saw that police car pull into my driveway, I didn't feel anything but relief. I'm not sure I've ever been more thankful for anyone than that state police officer. He rescued my baby from a potentially dangerous situation and carried her safely home. She may never leave my sight again. I'm so weak with relief I've found it impossible to be angry. She and a friend snuck out of the friend's house in the middle of the night and went walking around town. Too many horrible things could have happened to a 13 year old out unsupervised in the middle of the night. My imagination is way too active and inventive for my comfort. I say a prayer of thanksgiving and wonder how to keep this from ever happening again.
Coming home in the police car made an impression. I'm praying that a variety of other consequences have made impressions on her as well. Apologies made, having to explain what happened to friends and family, rising early and working hard, research about teenage tragedy. I think my 13 year old is more than happy to let me take care of correcting her. She's acknowledged her sin and she's ready to face whatever consequence I see necessary. She knows that what she did was thoughtless and that the results could have been so much worse. She stumbled across that line between childhood and adulthood, making choices that she wasn't ready to handle. I think she's relieved that there were adults, ready and willing, to usher her, quickly and firmly, back to the side of childhood. If all goes well she'll be hanging out in childhood for several years before she ventures out again.
My 13 year old has learned what it's like to break the trust of people that love her. She's learned that making choices can affect more than just the moment and more than just her. She's learned that trust is fragile and the effort for repair is great. I've learned that trust must be earned, by her and trust has already been earned, by God. I've learned that my trust must rest in God because there is no one else that is worthy of that kind of blind devotion. Being a parent is an impossible chore without certainty that there is a higher power looking out for my children and loving them more perfectly than I ever could. I trust in that and am thankful for it.
There is no way to be prepared for all the challenges of parenting. No matter how many hours we spend rehearsing scenarios of potential issues we won't think about the issues that will actually face us. There are too many possible pit falls, too many options for disaster. When I became a parent, I went in blind. Most days, I still feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark. I pray for wisdom and hope that it comes to me, like a bolt from the blue, when I need it. I struggle with feeling adequate to the task. I worry about taking too much responsibility, about giving too much responsibility, about not expecting enough, about expecting too much. I strive to find a solid place to sand in a landscape that's always changing, child to child, minute to minute. And I pray.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The Nature of Trust
According to ">dictionary.com trust can be a noun, adjective or verb. Trust has 24 definitions.
The definitions that seem to pertain the most to my thoughts recently are these:
to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on.
to believe.
to expect confidently; hope.
Before our frustrations of the previous week, I would have said that I had trust or confidence in my children. I knew I was able to rely or depend on them and wouldn't have doubted that trust. Over the last week I've wondered how I managed to misjudge the level of responsibility my children were able to handle and how we could repair the relationship that had been damaged.
My children let themselves down and they let me down with their behavior. They are only beginning to realize the toll that their lack of judgement has taken. They've been working this weekend to make up the work that they didn't do when assigned. They understand now that it would have just been easier to do the work as expected. The next few weeks will help them understand the loss freedom and the process necessary to earn back trust. I hope it will also help them understand the benefits of having trusting relationships. I pray that this experience will enable them to appreciate trust in a way they didn't last week.
While I no longer have the confidence to rely on my children (trust) I do expect confidently and hope (trust) that this lesson will be learned well and that we will all be better because of it.
The definitions that seem to pertain the most to my thoughts recently are these:
to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on.
to believe.
to expect confidently; hope.
Before our frustrations of the previous week, I would have said that I had trust or confidence in my children. I knew I was able to rely or depend on them and wouldn't have doubted that trust. Over the last week I've wondered how I managed to misjudge the level of responsibility my children were able to handle and how we could repair the relationship that had been damaged.
My children let themselves down and they let me down with their behavior. They are only beginning to realize the toll that their lack of judgement has taken. They've been working this weekend to make up the work that they didn't do when assigned. They understand now that it would have just been easier to do the work as expected. The next few weeks will help them understand the loss freedom and the process necessary to earn back trust. I hope it will also help them understand the benefits of having trusting relationships. I pray that this experience will enable them to appreciate trust in a way they didn't last week.
While I no longer have the confidence to rely on my children (trust) I do expect confidently and hope (trust) that this lesson will be learned well and that we will all be better because of it.
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