Continuing Conversations

Part of my self-education this summer has been a summer bible study entitled, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter by Vicki Courtney.  This is the last week of the bible study and I'm glad that I participated.  I think the study made me consider more deeply some of the assumptions I've brought to parenting and whether those were godly assumptions or worldly.  I'm still struggling with that question. 

I also found it helpful to have the author's perspective of the five most important topics we need to address with our daughters.  They are: You are more than the sum of your parts.  Don't be in such a hurry to grow up.  Sex is great and worth the wait.  It's o.k. to dream about marriage and motherhood.  Girls gone wild are a dime a dozen - Dare to be virtuous.  I'm not sure I would have chosen the same topics, the same order or the same emphasis but I've found the study to be worthwhile in that it has gotten me to think about what I emphasize for my children daily and how I can be certain that all my sound bites stay on point.

One of the issues that has cropped up several times in the last few days is making godly choices.  My middle daughter has decided to write a book.  She wanted the book to be about a witch that falls in love with a mortal.  This raised all sorts of difficulties for me.  I don't want her spending her creative talents in a world that I believe to be ungodly, creating a heroine that is ungodly.  My feeling about her choice leads to the discussion of why she can't write about witches but she can read about them.  Well, really I'm not thrilled about that either.  I have allowed it though.  Do I back down concerning writing about witches or do I take a firmer stand about all things witch related?  When is a witch bad and what do I do about the good ones?

Also, on the issue of clothing.  I want my children to make choices based on modest as well as comfort.  My daughters are beautiful girls.  I don't think they need to hide their God given beauty but I also want them to pick clothes that allow them to be attractive, mostly covered and look their age.  That's sometimes a difficult feat to achieve in the retail world of tighter and skimpier.  Thankfully, jeans seem to be moving back toward the natural waist and shirts are getting longer than they were a few years ago.  Unfortunately, everything is getting skinnier or tighter.

I know that I'm called as a Christian and as a parent to "Be holy, because I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16) God desires that I live such good lives among  the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. (1 Peter 2:12).  I doubt anyone looking at my life or the lives of my children at this time would accuse us of doing wrong or of glorifying God.  We've fit into the world too neatly and adopted it too completely.  It's a comfortable fit and I'm not sure where to even begin to change it.  I do stand convicted that change is essential.  I suspect change begins with prayer.