The Next Big Thing

I have a lot of skills. I'm organized. I'm a great planner. I am able to remain calm under pressure. All these skills set me up to be the perfect multitasker. And for a long time I was. I took great pride in my ability to keep as many balls in the air as I could find. If you needed a job done I was your girl. Not only would I get it done, I'd get it done well and on time. Doesn't that sound wonderful?


For a long time I thought multitasking was an admirable lifestyle. Then I realized by taking on anything and everything I was letting too much go. I was rushing through each moment to get to the next. My attention was so fragmented that nothing I did received my full concentration. Not my family, not my friends, not myself, not God. I was living my life like a constant string of commercials, 30 second bursts of intense effort with very little substance.

I began to realize the value of longevity and selectivity. Rather than saying yes to every little thing I began to say yes only to the things that would bring value and were in line with my values. That began with being present for my family. I limited my computer time. (This area could still do with some more limits.) I began to stop what I was doing and look at my children when they spoke to me. I concentrated on what they were saying rather than on the list that ran on continuous play in my head. I sought them out to do things with me or so I could participate in their activities. I began reading aloud. I sat down with them for meals during the day rather than eating alone.

All these things may sound simple and they are. However, not doing them sends the message that anything and everything is more important than my children. If folding laundry or unloading the dishwasher is more important that what my child is saying or doing there's something off kilter. I don't mean that I can't ever do chores if my children are around. I'm saying that there are times when it is necessary and important to stop and really concentrate on the child at hand. As a born multitasker I didn't even realize the message I was sending and stopping cold turkey was, in my opinion, the best way to get control of the habits I'd developed. Now, I that I understand how important it is to do one thing at a time, I can sometimes talk and work but it's not the norm.

I've also realized that doing one job and finishing it has value and provides a sense of accomplishment. As a multitasker I often had lots of things going on at one time. I'd finish something and move right onto the next thing. There was no time to take pleasure in a job well done because the next job was already underway. My habit of layering responsibilities was robbing me of my joy in celebrating my accomplishments. Over the years, I've learned the importance of taking a moment to recognize and celebrate these achievements. No one else is going to do that for me. It take discipline to slow down and pay attention. This is especially true when other responsibilities are calling. However, even a moment to say to myself, "Wow, the laundry is all done. Nice work!" or "That lesson really went well." is so worthwhile.

There will always be the next big thing. It is important that I am now aware that not every big thing needs to be my big thing.

From Conservative Christian to Extravagant Christian

con·ser·va·tive adjective \kən-ˈsər-və-tiv\
1: preservative
2a : of or relating to a philosophy of conservatism b capitalized : of or constituting a political party professing the principles of conservatism: as (1) : of or constituting a party of the United Kingdom advocating support of established institutions (2) : progressive conservative
3a : tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions : traditional b : marked by moderation or caution : marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners
4: of, relating to, or practicing Conservative Judaism

ex·trav·a·gant adjective \ik-ˈstra-vi-gənt\
1a obsolete : strange, curious b archaic : wandering
2a : exceeding the limits of reason or necessity b : lacking in moderation, balance, and restraint c : extremely or excessively elaborate 3a : spending much more than necessary b : profuse, lavish
4: extremely or unreasonably high in price

For quite awhile I've been frustrated with the Christian community and the battles they choose to fight.  I remember as a teen ager hearing a speaker say that if we get busy doing all the things the Bible tells us to do we don't have time to worry about the don'ts.  Those things that are prohibited to us will fall by the wayside. 
What would happen if as a community Christians began to live the top two and that's all?  Just in case you need a reminder of the top two you can find them in Matthew 22:36-40.

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

That's it.  Love God.  Love others.  What kind of craziness would it be if I began to just do these?  If I merely did, said, thought, acted in love?  How extravagant!

Of course, I can immediately forget about loving and get into theological discussions of what  loving means and who is my neighbor and how can I love yet still take a stand on the issues I hold near and dear to my heart.  That would be the sensible thing.  I can't possibly follow the simple instructions I am given.  There must be more to it than that.  I must make more of it than that because loving is truly too difficult for me to manage.  I'm much better at judging, rationalizing and justifying.  I've got the skills for that.  Loving, not so much. 

Today, I'm going to begin (or perhaps I'm really continuing) to do something extravagant.  I am going to spend my day loving God and loving others.  That's all.  It's going to be difficult.  I'm going to fail, repeatedly.  That's fine.  I can keep trying because the truth is that where Christ is concerned I am not conservative.  I am extravagant.

Pray Continually

In words, this verse has the same number as the shortest verse in the Bible.  I would argue, that for our day to day lives, it packs a bigger punch.  It's found in 1 Thessalonians 5:17.  I would also say that a person could spend a life trying to follow 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and live beautifully.  For today,  I just want to talk about the center of this life lesson sandwich.

In my not so distant past the instruction to pray continually called to mind images of holy people (nuns, priests, prophets). Always uncomfortably dressed.  Always angst ridden. Praying 24/7. Praying with eyes closed, mouths moving, deep in concentration. Praying with all they had, all the time.

At some point it occurred to me that this isn't what the verse had in mind.  I'm sure for some, those called to a life of prayer specifically, my picture may be accurate.  To the rest of us, those called to a life of continual prayer the picture looks much different.

Let's think of Christ's life for a moment.  First, he was always in communication with God because (duh!) He was God.  Second, as a Jewish man, he had the habit of prayer.  Finally, there were times when Jesus took extra time and effort to step up that communication.  This is the example I finally realized that I am to follow.

My first point about Jesus begin God is evident to me.  If you aren't with me on that point you probably aren't interested in what I have to say. As I thought about that oneness that Christ has, father & son, I realized that part of what the pray continually means in my life is that I also am to be in constant communication.  Prayer isn't just at a certain time, in a certain position, within a certain building.  Prayer is the consistent and continuous dwelling with God that God desires.  Prayer is living life in such a way that all the great gifts God sends your way are recognized and you immediately say thanks.  Prayer is sharing all those sticky moments, fleeting concerns, feelings of wonder or joy, as they happen.  Jesus was able to do that because he was/is truly one with God.  We are able to do that because through Christ and the Holy Spirit we are one with God.

Secondly, for  Jesus, since he was a young child, prayer was habit.  As a Jew prayer was part of the lifestyle.  Three times a day.  Every day.  With added prayer on the Sabbath.  If you want to read more about Jewish prayer this is a good place to start.  I believe Christians threw the baby out with the bathwater on this point.  In our desire to demonstrate our freedom through grace we forgot that there are things necessary, not for our salvation, but for our life.  If we want to have life and have it more abundantly we must spend time with God.  The difference between this point and my first is that God is always available to us.  We, being limited, are not always available to God in a deep and meaningful way.  It's the difference between running errands with a friend and sitting down for a cup of coffee.  In order to maintain a friendship busy times and being times are both important.  God is the same.  God desires all of us, busy and being.  God wants us to desire all of God.  Developing the habit of prayer, pulling up a chair and being with God, is an essential part of praying continually.

Finally, no one is able to handle all the world throws at them on their own.  No one.  There are not enough friends, neighbors or family members in the world to help you through every situation that will come your way.  They will help but they are not enough.  Without prayer we will never have enough of God to handle the world around us.  Sometimes the daily and habitual praying is not enough.  Some times require more.  It is so important that we prepare for those times.  Usually we get a warning or we can see or feel those times coming.  The moment we become aware on crisis, spiritual, mental, or physical, we need to begin praying, not on the fly or casually, but earnestly.  Jesus prayed proactively. He didn't wait until he was being arrested to fall to his knees.  He prayed in preparation.  Too often we save the prayer for a moment of panic.  If we pray proactively we can avoid the panic all together.  We may not avoid the crisis but our feelings and actions during challenging times will certainly be impacted by prayer.

So I challenge you, and myself, to pray continually.  Be open and available to God. Constantly in communication like a human i-phone.  Ready to send or receive a call, text, tweet, or instagram at any moment.  Be habitual in your prayer, daily, three time a day, whatever that means for you.  Make prayer a habit.  Finally, be proactive.  Pay attention to the things happening in your world and pray in a way that keeps God in front of crisis.

Hear my prayer, O Lord.

Patience: Not Just A Virtue

Yesterday went better than expected.  Anytime I try to make a change I expect opposition.  Especially if the change is for the betterment of myself or my family.  And that brings me to the second thing I know.  I know patience is a necessity. 

First, I want to be sure that we are operating from the same view of patience.  Here is the Miriam Webster definition of PATIENT:


1: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

2: manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain

3: not hasty or impetuous

4: steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

5a : able or willing to bear —used with of  

Patience is not something we pull out for special occasions. We don't get to shrug it on or off. Patience is an integral part of the person we are to be.  Patience is for the long haul.  Patience is a tool we are to use all day, every day.  It is the practice of doing what needs to be done without pitching a fit.  Even if we don't enjoy the job. Patience is the habit of planning well, taking our time, being steady, and thinking before we act. 

Being patient impacts our interactions with others.  It involves behaving in a way that is calming for those around us.  Patience is not superior or snotty.  It is supportive, able, and willing to bear.  It does not complain.  You can't be whiny and patient at the same time.  You can't be dissatisfied and patient.  Patient is pro-active with others.  It leads by doing.  

The other thing that I want to be sure I say about patience is that does not have anything to do with being a doormat, catch-all, or pushover.  Patience is not void of wisdom or boundaries.  Patience does not foolishly create pains, trials, or difficulty.  Patience is steadfast despite those things.  

The practice of patience works perfectly with my slow and steady plan.  My objective here is to do the things that need to be done without complaint or drama.  My desire is to be the same person when provoked as I am when pleased. My plan is to be thoughtful in all that I do.  To make decisions with deliberation.  My hope is that my steadfast behavior will make a difference to my family.  

Slow and Steady

This morning I made French press coffee.  If you like coffee this might mean something to you.  If you just drink coffee it might not.  To me, French press coffee is personal and hands on.  It's something you savor not just something you drink.  The flavor is richer.  The temperature is just right in the mug and in my mouth.  French press coffee deserves a moment to itself. 

There are many tutorials on how to make the best pot of French press coffee so I won't bore you with another.  I will say that, in my opinion, the key to a good pot of  French press coffee has to do with the pace.  French press is not instant.  Slow and steady is the pace of a French press.  It requires numerous steps.  It requires attention to detail.  It requires waiting.  There is not rushing or panic or hurry.  Making a pot of French press is not something you do in a distracted, hap hazard manner.  My prayer today is that I can find order, comfort and joy in the rest of my life as I do in my French press coffee.

I know it's in there.  The steady pace, the sure results, the order and the outcome.  Those are all a part of life.  They just aren't the part that are given the most attention.  Those aren't the parts that our society considers to be valuable.  Those parts are considered drudgery, boring, mundane.  Those are the parts we try to avoid and in our avoidance we create the stress and chaos we pretend we don't enjoy.  It's safe to sa there is a certain amount of satisfaction in complaining about house work or being snowed under with errands or undone jobs or too many commitments.  It's affirming to have a friend or spouse tell you that you take on too much or you are amazing for doing all you do.  The drama of stress and panic is much more exciting than a cleanly swept floor or an orderly day.  That drama is so enticing that we've become addicted to it.  If we aren't stressing we don't feel alive.  We don't feel purposeful.  We don't feel engaged.

One of my plans this season (and hopefully, in an habitual manner for the rest of my life) is to do things with intention and purpose.  Slow and steady.  First this, then this, with the end result being a life filled to the brim with peace.    As with all things, this won't start with me.  This transformation will start with prayer.  In Psalm 26:3 the Bible tells us;  You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  So there is my prayer;  Lord, give my your peace.  Keep my mind steadfast as I trust in you.

The other part of my plan is to approach the important activites in my day as I do making a pot of coffee.  I know the steps I need to take.  When I skip what needs to be done the results turn out muddled and bitter.  No one is happy, least of all me.  Too often I'm lazy or undisciplined thinking that it's a quicker or easier way to the results I desire.  I know better but I don't always do better.

There are three big areas where I plan to change my approach: waking my children, household chores and putting my children to bed.   I feel that changing these areas will make the biggest impact.  Over the next few months we will see.  Slow and steady.

At my house we don't have French press coffee on a daily basis.  My husband prefers his coffee by the gallon.  There is no savoring involved.  The first cup is just a means to the next.   Sometimes life requires this of  us.  Sometimes things must be done in a timely manner or at a moments notice.  Sometimes one activity leads into the next.  I'm aware that life can move quickly and that, to a certain degree, we must keep pace.  I am anticipating by promoting a steadfast peace in my home the times of hurry will result in fewer times of panic or chaos.   I am anticipating that we will learn in deeper ways to trust God, to trust each other and to trust ourselves.  Slow and steady.

Beginning With What You Know

This morning marks the beginning of a new season for this household.  I am settled in with the first pot of French press coffee that I've made in years. It's as wonderful as I remember. I am trying to find a sweet spot for the coming months and to stay in it.  In order to find that sweet spot I am slowing down and thinking hard about what works and what doesn't.  I have 24 years of experience as a wife and almost 17 as a mother.  I know a lot about a lot. So, this morning I am going to begin with what I know.

I know slow and steady is the best way to move forward.

I know patience is a necessity.

I know prayer precedes everything.

I know one job at a time is enough.

I know many hands make light work.

I know stress and panic do not bring good results.

I know praise will enrich any effort.

I know procrastination is a form of rebellion.

I know how important it is to have clear goals in mind.

I know that celebration is more than just the icing on the cake.  It's the purpose of the cake.

I know I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me. 

I know a lot of other stuff too.  As a result, I'll probably be adding to this list.  My goal here is to give myself some writing prompts.  For too long I've been checking in sporadically and updating at random.  My original intention with the blog was to write regularly.  And, here I go.  Like I said, it's a new season.

Love Stories

Our writing assignment today was to write a love story.  Here are the love stories I received:

H13
I walked around the restaurant with my big, fake, waitress smile glued to my face. All the happy couples that I was waiting on were too busy with each other to pay the bill, and one couple had been hogging up a table for two hours. Chelvok’s was a fancy restaurant and our reservations were made months in advance. We really didn’t need our tables hogged up for the entire night by one couple. I usually wouldn’t mind all the happy couples if my boyfriend of three years and me were one of them, but my boyfriend had completely forgotten about Valentine’s Day!

He had been promising something big for over a year and then, on the perfect day for romance, I didn’t even get a “Happy Valentine’s Day!” I had decided not to cry, but I had been pretty bitter since he left for work. I couldn’t believe that he had forgotten the most romantic day of the year, and our anniversary to boot. I felt tears coming to my eyes as I thought about it, and quickly asked my next table if they wanted refills.

“Vanessa Melody Sintax, please come to the stage!” a voice called my name through the speakers.

I walked up to the stage in confusion. The first thing I saw was my boyfriend on one knee and wearing a tux. He looked at me and smiled then he pulled a ring out of his pocket.

“Will you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes! Oh absolutely yes!” I squealed, and for the first time that day I let myself cry.

S11 “I love Valentine’s Day,” Lucie said.
“Why?” Tony asked. “It’s only a day full of dating and you don’t have a date.”
"I know, but boys want to date me so I get tons of chocolate,” Lucie explained.
“Oh,” said Tony. “Well, I have to go to the bathroom.” He grabbed his cell phone, dialed and said, “I don’t want the chocolate anymore.”
“All right,” the store man said.
“Oh, Tony! I have to go. Bye!” said Lucie. She grabbed her phone, dialed and said, “Get me that chocolate and charge Tony.”
“Okey dokey,“ said the store man.

M8
Toby: Alice, I think I like you.
Alice: Really? I should have told you this.
Toby: What should you have told me?
Alice: Just that when we were friends for five years, I liked you. That’s why when you asked me to be your friend I said yes.
Toby: You mean you didn’t just want to be my friend.
Alice: Yep, that’s it.
Toby: You mean I’m not charming?
Alice: If that’s what you think I’ve been saying for the last five years, no.
Toby: All right. Is there anything else you need to tell me?
Alice: Just that I hate flowers.
Toby: (making a hand signal to wave off the flower delivery.)
Alice: What was that for?
Toby: Oh, I have to go. Bye!

Alisle Springs

written   by M

One day I was running errands with mom and she told me that dad's friend was coming over.  I was excited.    When i  got  home   they  were   already  there.  I  went   up  to  the   barn   where   they  were.  I  asked  him  if    he   would   go   on   a   walk   with   me.   He   said,  "Yes."   We   went    somewhere  really   pretty.  I  was  amazed.  We   found  a   hideout  on   our   way.  It  had   really    pretty   white   rocks.  On   our  way  back  he  was  thinking   about   what  we  should  name  it.   He   thought  we  cold    name  it  M  but   i   said, "No."  Then  he  asked  me  what  my  middle  name  was. I told  him  it   was  Alisle.  Thats  how  it  was  Alisle   Springs.                           

Guest Writer: My Tackle!

This week S9 wrote about a personal experience.  He was charged with putting his ideas in order and being descriptive.  I think he did an amazing job so here is his essay.

My Tackle!

Vienna vs. Warren, what a day!

The sweat dripped from my face.  My foe was staring me up and down.  I didn't feel right.  The stench of sweat filled the air.  I heard heavy breathing.  My blocker was twice my size.  That's when I heard the ball snap.  I felt relief as a I ran.  I heard the whoosh of air as it passed me then I saw a switch!

I jumped in front of the receiver, started running and bam!  I grabbed his legs and tripped him.  He fell straight on top of me.  He rolled off and then I heard the announcement, "Tackle made by number three, S9!"

Scary Chicken Stories by S9

I have a guest author today who would like to share three stories with you.  These stories were written to scare chickens because they are, after all, chicken.

The Legend of Fire Tail

Once there were 24 chickens and it was a full moon.  The strangest thing happened.  One was missing.  They searched everywhere but she wasn't anywhere.  They saw Fire Tail and he ate them all alive.  Legend has it that when there is a full moon there is Fire Tail.

The Legend of the Dogs

Once there were 24 chickens and a full moon, then a pack of hungry dogs came and ate all the chickens.  So, beware of the dogs!

Rex

There were 24 chickens and they decided to swim but when the first one stepped in the water it was bones.  So my fine feathered friends, beware of Rex!

NaNoWriMo: A Month of Insanity

I discovered NaNoWriMo a few months ago while searching for something to engage H11.  She loves to write and wants to be an author.  What better for a budding writer than the challenge of writing a novel?  We were both thrilled.

H11 worked diligently during the month of October to complete the Young Writer's workbook.  She had a wonderful time dreaming of characters and plot lines.  November 1 was intended to be the beginning of a grand adventure.  Instead she woke with a headache and upset stomach that quickly progressed from upset to upsetting.  Once the mess was cleaned up H11 only wanted to go to bed and sleep.  After a four hour nap, she felt well enough to read a bit but not well enough to write.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day for her.

As for myself, I am successful on day 1.  We'll see how well I fare on day 30.

Yet Another List - Potential Blog Topics

It's another one of those times when I've got so much on my mind that I don't know where to begin.  The danger, of course, is in not beginning at all.  I don't want to fall into that trap so I will make a list of the things that I could potentially write about then choose one and get on with it.

the boy and dad I saw at the science museum today - boy looking very average, dad with a mohawk, leather studded vest and ear full of metal
a room full of strangers
a new Bible study
meeting new people
virtue verses vanity
first impressions
beauty
conversations I want to have with my daughters
conversations I want to have or wish I'd had with my mother
temporary single parenting
summer schedules
societal standards of beauty
setting standards for our family
enforcing the standards we set
pieces of our vacation I want to capture
why we make choices we didn't intend to make
making the best use of time
living intentionally
moving more toward green
how being green meshes with my faith
starting a blog about incremental greening
why I'm torturing my children and myself with music lessons this summer
why I find my husband's new tattoo irritating
getting to know others
never really knowing anyone
the comfort of having a car mechanic that I trust not to rip me off
the even greater comfort of having a car that's paid for and how that's so much more important to me now than I ever imagined it could be
life with a tattoo
a year in review concerning our foreign exchange student
parenting techniques - particularly how to deal with lying and when a child won't eat a taco
baking bread
making pasta
summer learning
friendships - the effort and the pay off
Uncle Bob
the scale of friendship
judgement
Christianity and the Bible
millions of years verses creation
the way the brain works - how Galileo and others help us see more clearly
my amazing children
Father's Day minus the father
the business of birth
Netflix instant
definitions of beauty - world and God

plus there's another really great topic that I thought of earlier but now that I'm making this list I'm totally unable to bring it to mind.

Head Clutter

I've spent the last two evening trying to write something, anything.  I go through my days thinking of topics I'd like to write about later.  Later arrives and nothing comes easily.  I guess this is writer's block.  It feels more like being buried. 

My head is cluttered.  I try to get a hold of one corner of something to write about.  I give it a little tug and either it sticks fast or causes a landslide.  A piece breaks off leaving me with a useless idea and no words.

I'd like to write about my recent struggles with feeling like myself.  I'd love to spend a few days exploring my frustrations and contemplations concerning relationships and connecting with others.  I long to share my thoughts about religion, politics, priorities, homebirth, safe cleaning products, sunscreen or dog food.  Unfortunately, I'm clogged.

As a result,  you have an entire post on how I can't think through anything to write.  It reminds me of eighth grade English.  I survived that so I'm fairly certain I'll survive this too.  I hope you are still around when I figure out how to sort the clutter.

New Year Resolutions

Each January 1 provides the perfect opportunity for a fresh start. The temptation to clean out the old and welcome the new is often overwhelming. The limitless possibility of what new could be stretches out before me. The list of complaints concerning the old is endless. Changing from old to new can come with a crush of disappointment when the new mimics the old. Due to past disappointment, I've grown cautious when setting off down the path of resolution.

This year, I have decided that some risks are worth taking and that the old is unacceptable. The new must be different because the old is a mire of inaction and apathy. Any action at all will bring more positive results than paralysis.

And so, I find myself here, doing something new. Talking to myself in public. I'm determined to expose myself in unlikely ways in an unlikely location. As a writer. Writing.

My intention is to write. Daily. To learn about expressing myself and to develop the ablility to express myself well. The reason I'm writing in public is to give myself a measure of accountability. I need a record of my success/failure/progress/lack of progress. I need a measure of myself. This forum is my measure. I'm hoping it will be, in time, a record of growth. I hope to see the kind of results that my children see when they look at the pencil marks next to the door in our kitchen. Last year I was here. Now I'm here. Next year I might be here.

For now, I'm content to have made a beginning. Sometimes the first steps are enough to celebrate.