Chores Are Such a Chore

I love it when things in life knit themselves together.  I watch it happen often in our learning.  For instance, on Sunday our minister spent some time sharing about his trip to Israel.  Last week, our history focused on the life and death of Christ and early Christianity.  We are reading Ben-Hur.  It all seems to be tied together.  Those links are made in our lives and our brains without real effort or orchestration.  I love it when that happens.

The same thing is happening since I read The Power of Habit.  One of my things on my list for 2014 was to create a chore system for the kids and me that worked.  As I read that book and thought about what I really want it occurred to me that I'm trying to create habits in my children.

My old method of assigning chores was to give each kid a chore for a week (wash dishes, load dishwasher/unload dishwasher/put clean dishes away, sweep and vacuum floors/wipe table and counters, take out trash and recycling).  At the end of the week there would be a big discussion over who did or didn't finish the last of the dishes/floor/garbage and how to make it "fair".  That was a weekly issue. 

The other issue was the quality of work.  Because each child only kept each job for a week they could blame faulty results on the child who had done the job prior to their tenure.  There was no real incentive or accountability for good work or poor work.  And really, there wasn't time to train for each job and expect mastery.  By the time they understood the responsibilities and techniques of a job it was time to move on to the next job.  They didn't repeat a job for three more weeks.  All learning and skill was lost.

I've often thought that teaching kids how to do things is much harder than just doing them myself.  So many times I can get something done faster and better on my own than if I farm it out.  If I do something myself I know it's done correctly and meets whatever standard I've set.  I also know that it truly is done and won't require extra work or supervision or fussing later.

The catch is that my purpose in raising my children is to train them in the way I would have them go.  Or better yet, in the way God would have them go.  To me this means that I am not striving to have good children.  My effort is focused on creating outstanding adults.  Because of this future focus I know that I must equip my children. Equipping takes time.  It takes energy.  It's a chore.

In light of my purpose and what I learned about building a habit I decided I needed to revamp the chores at our house.  Rather than assigning a chore each week I determined that each child would do one chore for a month.  In that month's time they would be able to master each job.  While it might be tedious to do the same thing for a month, there would be no confusion over who had which responsibility.  Once they were trained for each job so thoroughly they wouldn't have difficulty remembering what to do the next time the job was theirs.  Training once and making it stick was a feature that really appealed to me.

Miraculously enough the new system is working.  I'm afraid to say it yet but it seems to be true.  I always know who is responsible and so do they.  They are able to do the jobs and take pride in them.  There is no question or debate or irritation about who should or shouldn't have done what.  This new habit is forming.  At our house, chores are not quite the chore they were.

Patience: Not Just A Virtue

Yesterday went better than expected.  Anytime I try to make a change I expect opposition.  Especially if the change is for the betterment of myself or my family.  And that brings me to the second thing I know.  I know patience is a necessity. 

First, I want to be sure that we are operating from the same view of patience.  Here is the Miriam Webster definition of PATIENT:


1: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

2: manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain

3: not hasty or impetuous

4: steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

5a : able or willing to bear —used with of  

Patience is not something we pull out for special occasions. We don't get to shrug it on or off. Patience is an integral part of the person we are to be.  Patience is for the long haul.  Patience is a tool we are to use all day, every day.  It is the practice of doing what needs to be done without pitching a fit.  Even if we don't enjoy the job. Patience is the habit of planning well, taking our time, being steady, and thinking before we act. 

Being patient impacts our interactions with others.  It involves behaving in a way that is calming for those around us.  Patience is not superior or snotty.  It is supportive, able, and willing to bear.  It does not complain.  You can't be whiny and patient at the same time.  You can't be dissatisfied and patient.  Patient is pro-active with others.  It leads by doing.  

The other thing that I want to be sure I say about patience is that does not have anything to do with being a doormat, catch-all, or pushover.  Patience is not void of wisdom or boundaries.  Patience does not foolishly create pains, trials, or difficulty.  Patience is steadfast despite those things.  

The practice of patience works perfectly with my slow and steady plan.  My objective here is to do the things that need to be done without complaint or drama.  My desire is to be the same person when provoked as I am when pleased. My plan is to be thoughtful in all that I do.  To make decisions with deliberation.  My hope is that my steadfast behavior will make a difference to my family.  

Tecumseh!

We kicked off this school year with a field trip.  Ten years ago, Rob and I enjoyed seeing the outdoor drama Tecumseh!  Since that time Rob has wanted to take the family to see the show.  This year was the year and when I began looking at the opportunities for fun learning provided by Tecumseh! I knew it was a perfect first day of school.  It's even more perfect because the kids didn't even realize it was the first day.

In addition to seeing the play, we enjoyed a living history tour where we got to hear some of the more personal stories of pioneers and Indians. 

Macey took a role in the tour by playing the part of an Indian chief being asked to sign a treaty.

We were all given the opportunity to dance an Indian dance.

We also got to take a look backstage learning the dangerous and gory details of the production. 

We now know three different ways to look like you are bleeding to death.  Only one requires special props.  Good information to have in your head.

After the tours, we all enjoyed a buffet dinner including fried chicken, ham, potatoes, salad, corn and lots of chocolate pudding. 

This fun afternoon was the perfect lead in to a thrilling performance.  The amphitheater where Tecumseh! is performed is huge.  It seats 1500-1800 people and the stage holds 40+ actors, horses, cannon, canoes and lots of action.  We all found this event to be really worth the trip.

Slow and Steady

This morning I made French press coffee.  If you like coffee this might mean something to you.  If you just drink coffee it might not.  To me, French press coffee is personal and hands on.  It's something you savor not just something you drink.  The flavor is richer.  The temperature is just right in the mug and in my mouth.  French press coffee deserves a moment to itself. 

There are many tutorials on how to make the best pot of French press coffee so I won't bore you with another.  I will say that, in my opinion, the key to a good pot of  French press coffee has to do with the pace.  French press is not instant.  Slow and steady is the pace of a French press.  It requires numerous steps.  It requires attention to detail.  It requires waiting.  There is not rushing or panic or hurry.  Making a pot of French press is not something you do in a distracted, hap hazard manner.  My prayer today is that I can find order, comfort and joy in the rest of my life as I do in my French press coffee.

I know it's in there.  The steady pace, the sure results, the order and the outcome.  Those are all a part of life.  They just aren't the part that are given the most attention.  Those aren't the parts that our society considers to be valuable.  Those parts are considered drudgery, boring, mundane.  Those are the parts we try to avoid and in our avoidance we create the stress and chaos we pretend we don't enjoy.  It's safe to sa there is a certain amount of satisfaction in complaining about house work or being snowed under with errands or undone jobs or too many commitments.  It's affirming to have a friend or spouse tell you that you take on too much or you are amazing for doing all you do.  The drama of stress and panic is much more exciting than a cleanly swept floor or an orderly day.  That drama is so enticing that we've become addicted to it.  If we aren't stressing we don't feel alive.  We don't feel purposeful.  We don't feel engaged.

One of my plans this season (and hopefully, in an habitual manner for the rest of my life) is to do things with intention and purpose.  Slow and steady.  First this, then this, with the end result being a life filled to the brim with peace.    As with all things, this won't start with me.  This transformation will start with prayer.  In Psalm 26:3 the Bible tells us;  You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  So there is my prayer;  Lord, give my your peace.  Keep my mind steadfast as I trust in you.

The other part of my plan is to approach the important activites in my day as I do making a pot of coffee.  I know the steps I need to take.  When I skip what needs to be done the results turn out muddled and bitter.  No one is happy, least of all me.  Too often I'm lazy or undisciplined thinking that it's a quicker or easier way to the results I desire.  I know better but I don't always do better.

There are three big areas where I plan to change my approach: waking my children, household chores and putting my children to bed.   I feel that changing these areas will make the biggest impact.  Over the next few months we will see.  Slow and steady.

At my house we don't have French press coffee on a daily basis.  My husband prefers his coffee by the gallon.  There is no savoring involved.  The first cup is just a means to the next.   Sometimes life requires this of  us.  Sometimes things must be done in a timely manner or at a moments notice.  Sometimes one activity leads into the next.  I'm aware that life can move quickly and that, to a certain degree, we must keep pace.  I am anticipating by promoting a steadfast peace in my home the times of hurry will result in fewer times of panic or chaos.   I am anticipating that we will learn in deeper ways to trust God, to trust each other and to trust ourselves.  Slow and steady.

First Day Senior Year

You are absolutely right. This is not a picture of Kady on the first day of  her senior year.  This is a picture of her first day of kindergarten.  I am feeling a lot little nostalgic.  I love seeing how much she still looks the same just teen size.  It makes me feel as if the entire world isn't changing too quickly for my liking.

 This is Kady on her first day of her senior year. 

Please notice the Disney princess backpack.  This lets me know that she is still totally a little girl.  I don't care what the outer packaging might indicate.

Happy Father's Day!

I am so blessed to be able to celebrate two amazing fathers.

My father

and the father of my children.

God is so gracious and I am so blessed.

Wordless Wednesday: Glimpses of D.C.

Happy Mother's Day!

To my mother!

And to me!

Spring Break 2013: Kennedy Space Center

We were blessed to spend a day with our cousins at the Kennedy Space Center.  We spent some time online before our trip planning the things that we really wanted to be sure we saw.  H14, S11 and M8 all agreed that the new Angry Birds exhibit was a top priority.  We made that our first stop.  Each of the kids got to create their own Angry Bird, shoot stuffed Angry Birds at galactic pigs, play in a mirror maze and compete in a space age laser maze.  We were all thankful that we started with Angry Birds because the line was fairly long by the time we finished the activities.

Upon completion of the laser maze we boarded the bus for the tour.  We all found the tour to be informative and engaging.  Seeing the size of the buildings and equipment up close really made an impression.  We'd done a lot of reading about the Space Race and the Space Program so we were seeing things that we'd learned about in history.  Having the context made the visit especially meaningful.

Although we spent the entire day we didn't get to see everything.  We missed one of the IMAX movies and several of the museum exhibits.  We also had to skip the Astronaut Hall of Fame which was included in our ticket.  The Kennedy Space Center would definitely be worth another visit during a future Florida trip.

April Fools Day 2013

The award for best April Fools Day trick goes to K16 and her boyfriend E.  They staged a marriage proposal, complete with engagement ring, for Rob.  He was a totally unsuspecting victim.  His self-control should be applauded because he did not immediately kill his daughter and her boyfriend.  In fact, he kept most of his outrage to himself.  A big round of applause and medal of valor goes out to E who had no real guarantee that he would survive the prank.

Because I can't let the day pass me by I created this special April Fools Day meal for my children and parents.

Grilled cheese anyone?

Here's the recipe.  Doesn't it look like the real thing?

Spring Break 2013: Coloring Eggs

Spring Break 2013: Easter Sunrise Service - Sea World

Spring Break 2013: Time with Cousins

Rob's sister and her family now live in Florida. Today we visited with them and saw their new home, played putt putt golf, devoured our share of Mexican food, and Peachwave yogurt. Having cousins in Florida was definitely a bonus of our trip!!

Spring Break 2013: St. Augustine - Day 2

I've been to lots of light houses and I highly recommend St. Augustine Light House as one of the best light house experiences ever.  The staff is engaging and knowledgeable.  The grounds are beautiful.  The view is breathtaking.  In addition, the museum and exhibits are educational and interesting for the entire family. 

We thoroughly enjoyed our morning at the light house.  From there we traveled down the Florida coast  stopping for lunch at Redfrog and McToad's.  The service was slow and not very attentive but the food was hot and plentiful.  We weren't in a rush and the kids really enjoyed the decor.  No one left the restaurant hungry. 

After lunch, we continued on to Fort Matanzas.  Our plan was to enjoy the visitors center, walk on the beach, take the ferry to the fort and complete another jr. ranger badge.  Unfortunately, spring break was not the best time to visit the fort.  All of the ferry tickets were gone by the time we arrived.  Although the tickets were free there were a limited number per day.  Without the ferry our enthusiasm for the junior ranger badge waned.  We enjoyed walking and relaxing on the beach.  The weather was considerable warmer today and we were all able to appreciate sitting on the sand in the sunshine.  We watched the educational video at the visitor's center then climbed into our vehicles for the ride to Grandmomma and Grandpap's.

Spring Break 2013: St. Augustine, Florida

Of course, when we planned our spring break trip to St. Augustine we anticipated beautiful beaches.  We got the beautiful beaches but we also got winter weather than made it a quick visit on a cold, sunny, windy afternoon.

When Grandmomma and Grandpap arrived we began our sight seeing in earnest.  We began the morning at Castillo de San Marcos where we learned about the history of the area and the fort, enjoyed the views and the sunshine.

We chatted with Spanish soldiers.

M8 and S11 earned their junior ranger badges and took the junior ranger pledge.

From the fort we walked in to St. Augustine and down through the chilly yet busy tourist area.

We enjoyed a delicious lunch at Pizzalley's.  We all give it two thumbs up (that's 14 thumbs!) and recommend you make this a stop if you visit St. Augustine. 

After Pizzalley's we walked off a bit of our lunch then tried the designer popsicles from The Hyppo. Though the flavors were unfamiliar and even a little weird we enjoyed orange creamsicle, vanana banilla, pumpkin porter, and champagne mango.  Even on a chilly day we enjoyed the sweet treats.

 We continued our stroll to Flagler College, the former Hotel Ponce de Leon and back toward the car parked in the fort parking lot.

A final stop at Whetstone Chocolates brought that part of our tour to close and all were weary by the time we made it to our van.  On the way back to our hotel, M8 revived when she spied the carousel. 

She convinced Grandmomma to join her for a ride though she couldn't convince any of her siblings to get out of the van.