Creatures of Habit

And so time keeps passing and writing is not a priority.  I want it to be a priority.  In my happy imaginings I am a writer.  Sadly, in reality I am not doing any writing.  It's difficult for even the greatest imagination to conjure a writer where no writing is taking place.

I've just finished a book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.  It speaks to how strongly routine without concious thought and intentional action controls our everyday behavior.  There are so many every day behaviors that I would like to change.  I'd like to exercise and write.  I'd like to make sweets into special treats not every day expectations.  I'd like to clean house on a routine so that it wasn't overwhelming. I'd like to be encouraging.  That's a lot of change.

The good news is that habits can be changed.    The other good news is one change often leads to other changes. A positive new habit often has a domino effect. One good change leads to other good changes.

As I review my list of things I'd like to change, I think that exercise is the biggest ticket item.  I know it will benefit me.  I know I will like the results.  I know I am stubborn, hate exercise, and need a large push to be successful with this one.  I've failed to incorporate regular exercise into my routine many times before.  I've also been successful many times before.  There are long periods in which exercise was a part of my life.  The trick is to figure out what made exercise stick and what caused that period of routine exercise to be disrupted.

Today is Fat Tuesday.  Tomorrow is the beginning of Lent.  I think this is the perfect time for reflection and concentration on a change of habit.  Turning my physical activity into an act of worship might just be an intentional act I can turn into a habit.

Reading List 2013

The Iliad by Homer translated by Robert Fagles


The Prayer Box by Lisa Wingate

The Truth About Style by Stacy London

Someone by Alice McDermott

Wicked Girls by Alex Marwood

Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight by M.E. Thomas

The Good Earth by Pearl Buck

The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin

Safe House by Chris Ewan

The Hero's Lot by Patrick Carr

A Cast of Stones by Patrick Carr

The Silver Star by Jeannette Walls

Gilgamesh: A New Rendering in English Verse by David Ferry

He Who Saw Everything by Robert Temple

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Gilgamesh: A Verse Play by Usef Komonyakaa & Chad Gracia

Mighty Be Our Powers by Leymah Gbowee

The Cherry Cola Book Club by Ashton Lee

Telling the Bees by Peggy Hesketh

The Woman Who Died A Lot by Jasper Fforde

Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott

The Complaints by Ian Rankin

Die Trying by Lee Child

And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini

Killing Floor by Lee Child

So Brave, Young, and Handsome by Leif Enger

One of Our Thursdays Is Missing by Jasper Fforde

Disobedience by Jane Hamilton

The Good Mother by Sue Miller

TransAtlantic by Colum McCann

The Last Original Wife by Dorothea Frank

Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou

First Among Sequels by Jasper Fforde

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde

The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

The Runaway King by Jennifer Nielsen

The False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen

Lost in a Good Book (A Thursday Next Novel) by Jasper Fforde

Consider the Fork: A History of How We Cook and Eat by Bee Wilson

The Light Between Oceans: A Novel by M.L. Stedman

The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel by Jasper Fforde

Legend by Marie Lu

Peace Like A River by Leif Enger

Tear Down the Walls! A History of the American Civil Rights Movement by Dorothy Sterling

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Falling Home by Karen White

Showdown Trail by Louis L'Amour

The Ruins of Lace by Iris Anthony

Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare

The Round House by Louise Erdrich

The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles

Thirteen Days/Ninety Miles: The Cuban Missile Crisis by Norman Finkelstein

City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare

City of Glass by Cassandra Clare

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Eighty Days: Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland's History-Making Race Around the World by Matthew Goodman

The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn

The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott

One Shot by Lee Child

The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry

The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman

Notorious Nineteen by Janet Evanovich

Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

The Merchant's Daughter by Melanie Dickerson

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

The Best Bad Luck I Ever Had by Kristin Levine

Marmee & Louisa: The Untold Story of Louisa May Alcott and Her Mother by Eve LaPlante

Elsewhere: A Memoir by Richard Russo

The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin

Brilliance by Marcus Sakey

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce

Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler

Allegiant by Veronica Roth

Gideon Smith and the Mechanical Girl by David Barnett

Prairie Tales by Melissa Gilbert

What If You Lost 10 Years?

I just finished reading a book called What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty.  Among other topics the book explores the idea of what would happen to a person in they forgot ten years of their life.  What would change?  What would stay the same?  What person would you be if you didn't have the experiences you have to shape your thoughts and behavior?

One of my favorite things about being a reader is how it allows me to think, feel, experience the world from a different point of view.  This book has me thinking about my life and what would be different if I woke up believing that I was only 35 years old.  How is the person I am today different from the person I was in 2003?  How is my life different?  How are the people I surround myself with different?

In 2003 I had three children, not four.  My oldest was in public school.  The middle was in preschool.  The youngest at home. We were living in a three bedroom, two and a half bath house in Marietta, Ohio.  Rob worked regular 9 to 5 hours, give or take, at a nearby chemical plant. He was home every night. We had a strong, happy marriage.  I had my own direct sales business and was building a strong team.  I was very active in my church and mom groups. I participated in a book club.  I had a group of close friends.  We  had several couples that we saw regularly.  I was close to my parents.  I had relationships with all my sisters though none of them had children and only one was married. 

Now I have four children; 16, 13, 10, and 8.  My oldest daughter has her driver's license.  We've been to court with her.  Our relationship has grown and changed.  I believe it's strong.  My three younger children are homeschooled.  The path from public school to homeschool has been a total surprise.  I never would have predicted that choice.  We live about 15 miles from where we lived ten years ago, but during that time we moved about five hours away and lived for five years before moving back.  Even though we live so close to our previous residence life is nothing like it use to be.  We now own a 37 acre farm.   Rob is getting ready to take a job that will have him working from home and traveling.  His hours are anything but regular.  We still have a strong, happy marriage.  It's different.  I'm more independent.  We both take more care of our relationship than we did.  We are able spend more time alone together than we did then.  I've given up my direct sales business.  I volunteer on a limited basis and am a member of a very small church.  I have no close friends.  We don't have any couple friends that we see regularly.  My parents and I are still close.  I have much closer relationships with my sisters.  Most of them are now married with children but I think the difference is that we have made mutual efforts and getting to know each other.

In the book, Alice discovers that a balance between her younger (introverted, relaxed, optimistic) self and her older (organized, assertive, controlling) self is key for happiness.  By losing and finding her memory, she realizes that she lost more than that. 

If I compare my younger self with my older, I'd say that there are positives and negatives with both. I took better care of my younger self, physically.  My younger self definitely had more energy and in a way she was more organized.  However, my older self has learned the value of saying no and letting things go.  My older self has learned that setting priorities and sticking to them is worthwhile.  My older self spends more time with family and less time with friends and acquaintances.  I miss close friends but have enough people who are important to me to make my life full, most of the time.  My older self is angry more often than my young self but my older self is also more content and peaceful.  My younger self talked more, told more, shared more.  My younger self almost always knew the best way to get a job done and wasn't afraid to jump in and do it.  My older self still often knows the best way to get a job done but is a lot less likely to jump in or share that way. 

It's interesting to think about how I've grown and changed in ten years.  The biggest surprise in my look back is that I haven't grown and changed all in one direction.  Growth doesn't always mean up or out.  Growth can happen in a lot of ways and can look very different in different situations.  All change isn't necessarily change for the best, but it may be the best change for the time.  Older self or younger, I'm so thankful that I have the ability to look back and be pleased at what I see, both past and present.

52 Books in 52 Weeks - Year End Wrap up

Here is my complete book list for 2012 in reverse order from December back to January:

Best Exotic Marigold Hotel by Thomas Newman

Blue Christmas: Now with More Holiday Cheer (New Recipes Too!) by Mary Kay Andrews
How I Came to Sparkle Again by Kaya McLaren
The Three Incestuous Sisters: An Illustrated Novel by Audrey Niffenegger
Calling Invisible Women by Jeanne Ray
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
The Tortilla Curtain by T.C. Boyle
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
The Twenty-One Balloons by William Pene Dubois
Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
The Endless Forest by Sara Donati
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
Fire Along the Sky by Sara Donati
The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
Lake in the Clouds by Sara Donati
Dawn on a Distant Shore by Sara Donati
The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson
Explosive Eighteen by Janet Evanovich
Freed to Live by Anne White
Perfect Nightmare by John Saul
Plum Lucky by Janet Evanovich
Plum Lovin' by Janet Evanovich
The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown
Visions of Sugar Plums by Janet Evanovich
Trial by Fire by Anne White
Into the Wilderness by Sara Donati
A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson
Home by Toni Morrison
How It All Began by Penelope Lively
Tears of Autumn by Charles McCarry
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire: The Methods and Madness Inside Room 56 by Rafe Esquith
Things Fall Apart by Chinụa Achebe
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The True Memoirs of Little K by Adrienne Sharp
Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Insurgent by Veronica Roth
An Unexpected Guest: A Novel by Anne Korkeakivi
Letters from the Corrugated Castle by Joan Blos
Lethal by Sandra Brown
A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle
The Maid by Kimberly Cutter
Sarah Bishop by Scott O'Dell
The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta
This Beautiful Life by Helen Schulman
Book of Dreams by Davis Bunn
The Housekeeper and the Professor by Yoko Ogawa
11/22/63 by Stephen King
New Found Land by Allan Wolf
The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes
Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai
Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore
The Sunflower by Simon Wiesenthal
The Jane Austen Book Club by Karen Joy Fowler
Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson
Why Read Moby-Dick? by Nathaniel Philbrick
The Postmistress by Sarah Blake
Divergent by Veronica Roth
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Night Circus by Erin Morganstern
Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund
Celia Garth by Gwen Bristow
Smokin' Seventeen by Janet Evanovich
Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich
Sketches by Eric Walters
Galileo's Daughter: A Historical Memoir of Science, Faith, and Love by Dava Sobel
The Tower, the Zoo and the Tortoise by Julia Stuart
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
Ladies' Night at Finbars Hotel edited by Dermot Bolger
How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill
The Ring by Bobbie Pyron
The Art of Racing in the Rain: A Novel by Garth Stein
The Midnight Zoo by Sonya Hartnett
Benjamin Franklin: An American Life by Walter Isaacson
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz

1) How many books did you read this year? 75

2) Did you meet or beat your own personal goal? Yes, my personal goal was 52 books read. One book a week seemed like it might be a stretch because I never kept track of my reading like this before.

3) Favorite book of 2012? Yes, you can list more than one and even break it down by genre if you choose.
Fiction:  Calling Invisible Women by Jeanne Ray

Inspirational: Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Historical Fiction/Poetry: New Found Land by Allan Wolf

4) Least favorite book of 2012 and why?
In fiction it would be The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz
It wasn't nearly brief or wondrous enough for me.

Here is my complete review.  I didn't totally  pan it but I wanted to like it more.

My least favorite non-fiction pick would be A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson.  The only thing I discovered with Bill was that he was full of complaints and not very engaging.  If you want to read a good book on a walk in the woods try Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed.


5) One book you thought you'd never read and was pleasantly surprised you like it?
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe

6) One book you thought you'd love but didn't?
The Twenty-One Balloons by William Pene Dubois


7) One book that touched you - made you laugh, cry, sing or dance.
Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Calling Invisible Women by Jeanne Ray


8) Any new to you authors discovered and you can't wait to read more of their stories? Erin Morganstern, Veronica Roth, Sarah Blake, and Jeanne Ray


9) Name the longest book you read? Shortest?
Moby Dick seemed like the longest.  I read but didn't list Sarah, Plain and Tall and its sequels.  The kids and I loved these stories.

10) Name the most unputdownable book you read?
Calling Invisible Women by Jeanne Ray

11/22/63 by Stephen King
The Night Circus by Erin Morganstern

11) Book that had the greatest impact on you this year?
Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss


12) What book would you recommend everybody read?
Fiction:  Calling Invisible Women by Jeanne Ray
11/22/63 by Stephen King
The Night Circus by Erin Morganstern


Historical Fiction/Poetry:  New Found Land by Allan Wolf

Nonfiction:  The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson


13) Share your most favorite cover(s)
I really don't remember the covers.  I only remember the titles because I made the list.

14) Do you have a character you fell in love with?
There were so many memorable characters in Ahab's Wife and also I loved Uncle Tom.
15) What was your most favorite part of the challenge? Did you do any of the mini challenges?
 I loved keeping track of my reading and watching the list grow. 
I read Ahab's Wife and Moby Dick as part of a challenge.  I wouldn't have read either book otherwise.  I think I also read The Great Gatsby as part of a challenge.  I started reading Dr. Zhivago but bailed on that before I finished.  Too much snow and too many long train rides.


16) What are your goals for the new year? To read more non fiction? To dip your toes into a mystery or a urban fantasy or horror or romance? What book are you most looking forward to reading in 2013?
For 2013 I want to continue to read 52 books in 52 weeks.  More than that is really just gravy.  I also want to continue to read what I consider to be classics.  I added quite a few to my list this year and I like doing that.  I've been reading them as my children work through their history cycle.  They make me feel smarter.

The books I'm waiting for from my reserve list at the library are Gone Girl and Notorious Nineteen.

Book Review: Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund

Rather than reviewing this book, I feel the need to respond to it.

This story spoke to me as being a story about woman.  The setting of the 19th century gave a backdrop that provides clear roles and expectations of women.  The characters came from all walks of 19th century life.  Agatha, Aunt Charity, Bertha, Charolette, Frannie, Mary, Maria, Margaret, Mrs. Macy/Maynard, Rebekkah, Sallie, Susan.  The pages are populated with women and their stories.  The common thread among all these women was their purposefulness.  No matter the course these women chose, they did so with intent.  Too often, the lives of women are presented as a side line.  The result of a choice or action of a man.  A consequence.  Clearly, while these women were affected by the men in their lives they were not determined by them.

I can't say that I liked all the women or that their choices would have been mine.  I can't say that I agree with their philosophies, perspectives, or conclusions.  I can't say that, if I'd lived in the same place, at the same time, I would have befriended all of them.  I hope I would.  I hope I would have been able to open myself up to the possibility of someone different adding value to my life. 

I also hope that, in my day to day life, I am able to show the strength of purpose and intent that these characters show.  I also hope that, in my day to day life, I am able to remember that being similar does not mean we are the same and that differences bring life.

Reading List for 2011

Bootlegger's Daughter by Margaret Maron
Can't Wait to Get to Heaven by Fannie Flagg
The Patron Saint of Liars by Ann Patchett
Bamboo People by Mitali Perkins
Elephant Run by Roland Smith
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford
Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare
Erasure by Percival L. Everett
Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout
The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak
In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson
The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
One of Ours by Willa Cather
My Antonia by Willa Cather
The Magician's Assistant by Ann Patchett
A Proper Pursuit by Lynn Austin
The Call by Yannick Murphy
Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls
Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by Helen Simonson
Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah
Sex on the Moon: The Amazing Story Behind the Most Audacious Heist in History by Ben Mezrich
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
Passion by Lauren Kate
Tourment by Lauren Kate
Fallen by Lauren Kate
Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
Lost in Shangri-La by Mitchell Zuckoff
State of Wonder by Ann Patchett
Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly
Hallelujah! The Welcome Table by Maya Angelou
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand
The Penderwicks at Point Moutte by Jeanne Birdsall
The Florabama Ladies Auxiliary and Sewing Circle by Lois Battle
The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball
The Smile by Donna Jo Napoli
Fine Print by Joann Burch
A Door in the Wall by Marguerite de Angeli
The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
King Arthur and His Knights of the Round Table by Roger Lancelyn Green
Jane and the Madness of Lord Byron by Stephanie Barron
Pray for Silence by Linda Castillo
The Contrary Farmer by Gene Logsdon
Living with Chickens by Jay Rossier
Sworn to Silence by Linda Castillo
The Canterbury Tales retold by Geraldine McCaughrean
Hobby Farm by Carol Ekarius
Keeping Bees and Making Honey by Alison Benjamin and Brian McCallum
The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly
The Host by Stephanie Meyer
Jane and the Unpleasantness at Scargrave Manor: Being the First Jane Austen Mystery by Stephanie Barron
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Patience, Pearl: Verse Translations by Marie Borroff
Adam of the Road by Elizabeth Janet Grey
The Widower's Tale by Julia Glass
The Mountain Between Us by Charles Martin
Mothers and Other Liars by Amy Bourret
The Adventures of Robin Hood by Roger Lancelyn Green
Pack Up the Moon by Anna McPartlin
Digging to America by Anne Tyler
Rebecca by Daphne DuMaurier
The Little Prince by by Katharine Woods and Antoine de Saint Exupery

2010 Reading List

Eighteen Acres by Nicolle Wallace
Every Last One by Anna Quindlen
Hush by Donna Jo Napoli
The Map of True Places by Brunonia Barry
The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner's Dilemma by Trenton Lee Stewart
The Penderwicks on Gardam Street by Jeanne Birdsall
The Collectors by David Baldacci
This Time Together by Carol Burnett
The Humming of Numbers by Joni Sensel
A Stranger in the Family by Robert Barnard
The Atlas of Love by Laurie Frankel
The New Good Life by John Robbins
Oh No She Didn't by Clinton Kelly
Justinian's Flea by William Rosen
Rover by Jackie French
Call it Courage by Armstrong Sperry
The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey by Trenton Lee Stewart
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender
Original Sins by Peg Kingman
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest By Stieg Larsson
The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
The One That I Want by Allison Winn Scotch
Deep Dish by Mary Kay Andrews
The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy by Jeanne Birdsall
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation (Bilingual Edition) by Seamus Heaney
The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
The Bone People by Keri Hulme
Adventure Divas by Holly Morris
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Savvy by Ingrid Law
Women Food and God by Geneen Roth
Committed by Elizabeth Gildbert
Finger Lickin' Fifteen by Janet Evanovich
White Midnight by Dia Calhoun
The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly
Little Bee by Chris Cleave
The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver
An Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon
Day Into Night by Anita Diamant
The Kingdom of Ohio by Matthew Flaming
Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood
A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson