Chores Are Such a Chore

I love it when things in life knit themselves together.  I watch it happen often in our learning.  For instance, on Sunday our minister spent some time sharing about his trip to Israel.  Last week, our history focused on the life and death of Christ and early Christianity.  We are reading Ben-Hur.  It all seems to be tied together.  Those links are made in our lives and our brains without real effort or orchestration.  I love it when that happens.

The same thing is happening since I read The Power of Habit.  One of my things on my list for 2014 was to create a chore system for the kids and me that worked.  As I read that book and thought about what I really want it occurred to me that I'm trying to create habits in my children.

My old method of assigning chores was to give each kid a chore for a week (wash dishes, load dishwasher/unload dishwasher/put clean dishes away, sweep and vacuum floors/wipe table and counters, take out trash and recycling).  At the end of the week there would be a big discussion over who did or didn't finish the last of the dishes/floor/garbage and how to make it "fair".  That was a weekly issue. 

The other issue was the quality of work.  Because each child only kept each job for a week they could blame faulty results on the child who had done the job prior to their tenure.  There was no real incentive or accountability for good work or poor work.  And really, there wasn't time to train for each job and expect mastery.  By the time they understood the responsibilities and techniques of a job it was time to move on to the next job.  They didn't repeat a job for three more weeks.  All learning and skill was lost.

I've often thought that teaching kids how to do things is much harder than just doing them myself.  So many times I can get something done faster and better on my own than if I farm it out.  If I do something myself I know it's done correctly and meets whatever standard I've set.  I also know that it truly is done and won't require extra work or supervision or fussing later.

The catch is that my purpose in raising my children is to train them in the way I would have them go.  Or better yet, in the way God would have them go.  To me this means that I am not striving to have good children.  My effort is focused on creating outstanding adults.  Because of this future focus I know that I must equip my children. Equipping takes time.  It takes energy.  It's a chore.

In light of my purpose and what I learned about building a habit I decided I needed to revamp the chores at our house.  Rather than assigning a chore each week I determined that each child would do one chore for a month.  In that month's time they would be able to master each job.  While it might be tedious to do the same thing for a month, there would be no confusion over who had which responsibility.  Once they were trained for each job so thoroughly they wouldn't have difficulty remembering what to do the next time the job was theirs.  Training once and making it stick was a feature that really appealed to me.

Miraculously enough the new system is working.  I'm afraid to say it yet but it seems to be true.  I always know who is responsible and so do they.  They are able to do the jobs and take pride in them.  There is no question or debate or irritation about who should or shouldn't have done what.  This new habit is forming.  At our house, chores are not quite the chore they were.

First Day Senior Year

You are absolutely right. This is not a picture of Kady on the first day of  her senior year.  This is a picture of her first day of kindergarten.  I am feeling a lot little nostalgic.  I love seeing how much she still looks the same just teen size.  It makes me feel as if the entire world isn't changing too quickly for my liking.

 This is Kady on her first day of her senior year. 

Please notice the Disney princess backpack.  This lets me know that she is still totally a little girl.  I don't care what the outer packaging might indicate.

A Shift of Focus

My sister is a very gifted photographer.  One of the striking things about her photos is how changing the focus of her photo changes everything.  Sometimes she brings a close object into sharp focus, letting the background go fuzzy.  Other times she selects a far object around which to center her photo.  Even if every single thing in the photo stays the same, other than her focus, the image seems brand new.

Lately, my focus is undergoing a shift.  Perhaps the shift has been happening for some time now.  However, I feel now my focus is becoming clear.  My parenting journey began over sixteen years ago.  The first ten years of parenting were clearly focused on safety and survival.  Each day brought challenges but the skills required to deal with those challenges were clearly on the bottom half of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.  On a good day we totally fulfill the third level needs.  I feel that at this time all four of my children find their basic physical and safety needs met.  I also believe that they are all secure in their feelings of belonging and love.  Now we are moving on up.

My life no longer revolves around diapers, car seats, basic nutrition, sleep schedules, and the like.  I am done training toddlers.  My life is now about the business of creating worthwhile adults.  Clarifying that shift in focus has been life changing for me.  The children before me seem brand new.

Over the next years my focus will be centered around esteem and self-actualization.  As a Christian I know that my worth comes from Christ and on my relationship with Christ.  My value comes from glorifying God.  My role as a parent centers on supporting and loving my children as they explore the world and their function in it.  My role as a teacher is to provide my children the opportunities and education to move them forward in the world in such  way that they can be successful in the challenges they pursue.  The end results that I desire are four adults who are faith filled, life long learners who move through this world with confidence, generosity of spirit and grace. 

Just like that, the picture looks totally different and as a result I feel differently about it.  My role seems much more valuable.  The urgency of my job feels greater.  I feel less prepared.  Thankfully, the tools that I've developed in dealing with the lower level needs will be helpful as I face these new needs.  Prayer, preparation, time and energy are in my favor.  I am being intentional about finding resources to support our goals.  Our journey continues and can't wait to see where we go from here. 

Wordless Wednesday: Yellow Belts

Weekly Recap: School Year Wrap!

We finished our school year today.  At least we finished the book part.  Our testing is complete. We still have a super special field trip coming up but I'll share more of that after we come home.

Just in case you don't remember what my crew looked like at the beginning of the school year, you can look back here.  And just nine months later...

M8 is now ready to start 4th grade.  S11 wrapped up 5th grade and is moving onto grade 6.  H14 is now a freshman.  That just makes me breathe deeply.  My oldest daughter, K16, is now a senior.  That just takes my breath away.  She's not ready to face it either.  She won't even let me take an end of the school year picture so I'll share another prom picture.

I think it's fitting that we are spending this evening celebrating our year and accomplishments with cake

and the 145,678th viewing of High School Musical.  It's nice to know that no one is too old to enjoy the good stuff.

I'll write a more in depth run down of our year later but here are the highs and lows for now.

K16

High:  Making National Technical Honor Society.

Low:  The beginning of school. All the drama.

H14

High:  How well I did with math.  I did well and I don't usually.

Low:  Science because I don't like science.  I enjoyed it just not as much as everything else.

S11

High:  My high was Bible because I'm learning about God and I'm guessing it will earn me bonus points in heaven.  Just teasing.  I do love learning about God.

Low:  Math.  Who likes math besides M8?

M8

High:  How well I did with Bible.  I finished it all quickly and that made me happy.

Low:  I don't have a low.

Me

High:  I am so proud of all my children.  They are all becoming life learners and developing skills and discipline that will help them in all they do.  As far as our homeschool year, I feel that we learned so much. We completed our first 4 year cycle and I am so pleased by that accomplishment.  When we set down this road four years ago I don't think I really believed we'd get this far.

Low:  Latin.  We managed to squeak out physics but Latin got lost somewhere along the way.



Happy Mother's Day!

To my mother!

And to me!

Weekly Recap: May 6 - May 10, 2013

It's been awhile since I updated.  We've been busy living life with not so much time or energy left over for documenting the living.  Since our time in Florida we are working on completing our school year.  As of this week, we are finished with our history, grammar, reading...  Really, everything but Bible, math and physics. As a solution to our lack of physics done this year, we are having a physics intensive month.  So far, it's worked beautifully. 

Since spring break, we enjoyed the company of sisters and cousins, hatched 6 pullets (baby turkeys), pulled off a gorgeous prom for K16, and obtained three calves.  It's been a busy, fun filled time.  Currently we are waiting on the delivery of  two Columbia ewes and have about 3 dozen more turkey eggs in the incubator.  Never a dull moment around here.

Our state mandates that we have 900 hours of school time.  We aren't quite there yet so we will continue filling the time through May.   I think everyone is enjoying more fun reading and fewer lessons.  I know I am.

This week we ended our co-op time.  Each one of the children participated in a play.  We enjoyed M8 in her performance as Annie Christmas, the Keelboat Queen.  S11 gave an outstanding performance as an alien.  As Bill Sikes,  H14 was positively villainous.  It was a fun week.

Over the next three weeks we'll be concentrating on physics, finishing our Bible curriculum, and completing our testing for the state.  For our grand finale to the 2012-13 school year we'll be taking a fabulous sight seeing, educational field trip.  I'll be sure to share pictures.

Wordless Wednesday: Davenport Park Carousel

Happy Birthday H14!

As so often happens, my intentions for pictorial documentation of a birthday ended just after breakfast.  We did much more than eat breakfast and give a single gift on H14's birthday.  The day was so fun I forgot the documentation part.  I suppose it's a good thing since I want to live in the moment.  I need to find a life photographer to take pictures while I'm busy living.

Anyway, we enjoyed a school free day, lunch at McD's, fun time all day, a trip to the library, and dinner with Rob upon his return from New Orleans at H14's favorite local Italian place.

Love Stories

Our writing assignment today was to write a love story.  Here are the love stories I received:

H13
I walked around the restaurant with my big, fake, waitress smile glued to my face. All the happy couples that I was waiting on were too busy with each other to pay the bill, and one couple had been hogging up a table for two hours. Chelvok’s was a fancy restaurant and our reservations were made months in advance. We really didn’t need our tables hogged up for the entire night by one couple. I usually wouldn’t mind all the happy couples if my boyfriend of three years and me were one of them, but my boyfriend had completely forgotten about Valentine’s Day!

He had been promising something big for over a year and then, on the perfect day for romance, I didn’t even get a “Happy Valentine’s Day!” I had decided not to cry, but I had been pretty bitter since he left for work. I couldn’t believe that he had forgotten the most romantic day of the year, and our anniversary to boot. I felt tears coming to my eyes as I thought about it, and quickly asked my next table if they wanted refills.

“Vanessa Melody Sintax, please come to the stage!” a voice called my name through the speakers.

I walked up to the stage in confusion. The first thing I saw was my boyfriend on one knee and wearing a tux. He looked at me and smiled then he pulled a ring out of his pocket.

“Will you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes! Oh absolutely yes!” I squealed, and for the first time that day I let myself cry.

S11 “I love Valentine’s Day,” Lucie said.
“Why?” Tony asked. “It’s only a day full of dating and you don’t have a date.”
"I know, but boys want to date me so I get tons of chocolate,” Lucie explained.
“Oh,” said Tony. “Well, I have to go to the bathroom.” He grabbed his cell phone, dialed and said, “I don’t want the chocolate anymore.”
“All right,” the store man said.
“Oh, Tony! I have to go. Bye!” said Lucie. She grabbed her phone, dialed and said, “Get me that chocolate and charge Tony.”
“Okey dokey,“ said the store man.

M8
Toby: Alice, I think I like you.
Alice: Really? I should have told you this.
Toby: What should you have told me?
Alice: Just that when we were friends for five years, I liked you. That’s why when you asked me to be your friend I said yes.
Toby: You mean you didn’t just want to be my friend.
Alice: Yep, that’s it.
Toby: You mean I’m not charming?
Alice: If that’s what you think I’ve been saying for the last five years, no.
Toby: All right. Is there anything else you need to tell me?
Alice: Just that I hate flowers.
Toby: (making a hand signal to wave off the flower delivery.)
Alice: What was that for?
Toby: Oh, I have to go. Bye!

Happy Birthday S11!



S11's started a little earlier than I expected.  He was up well before dawn asking if he it was time for his birthday to begin.  I told him no and he crawled into bed with M8 and me to wait for his special day to begin.

We started the day with decorations and a gift.  S11 chose his favorite cereal, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, for breakfast.



Lunch as shrimp cocktail and that's all.

 

Dinner was steak, Caesar salad, rolls and sparkling cider.

Birthday cake was the perfect finish.

Skylanders from Aunt Christy.

Cash from Grandmomma & Grandpap.

Happy Birthday S11!

Monday Munchies: Brownie Batter Dip

This recipe is brought to you thanks to H13.  She made it last night as part of our Super Bowl snacks.  If your family is like ours, the food and the commercials are the main reason for watching the game.  With that understanding, you can see how important it is to make the food good.  H13 certainly came through with this tasty treat.

You can find the recipe here at Our Every Day Dinners but I wanted to post it again so you don't have to go looking.  I would recommend that you check out the site though.  There's lots of good stuff there. 

Brownie Batter Dip

1 8 oz package softened cream cheese

1/2 cup softened butter
2 cups powdered sugar
heaping 1/4 cup cocoa powder
heaping 1/4 cup flour
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons milk, adding more if needed

Mix the cream cheese and butter with an electric mixer. Add the powdered sugar and milk slowly. Add the cocoa, flour, brown sugar, and vanilla, and mix well.

We served the dip with pretzels, graham crackers, and unsweetened banana chips.  The unsweetened banana chips are, frankly, nasty on their own, but they were just right with this dip.

Also, we didn't have any powdered sugar.  A few years ago that missing ingredient would have sent us searching for another recipe.  We've come a long way in the do it yourself department so H13 made her own powdered sugar.  And guess what, powdered sugar is just regular sugar... wait for it... powdered.  Who knew?!  If you need powdered sugar you put the equivalent amount of white sugar in a blender and blend/pulse until you have sugar that is... you guessed it ...powdered.  I know, it's amazing, isn't it?!  If you want a more serious set of instructions check here but the ones that I've given really do work.

Anyway, with or without the diy powdered sugar this brownie batter dip really is worth making and sharing.

Weekly Recap: January 14-18, 2013

We were clicking on all cylinders this week until Thursday when everyone woke up with head colds.  Thursday was a quiet, sickish day, and everyone went to bed early.  Today, we are heading to Indiana.  Everyone seems to be feeling better.  We are still sporting runny noses and drainage coughs but no fevers, green snot, or vomitting.  I will take what I can get.

Here are the highs and lows of our week.

H13
High - Finishing Analytical Grammar.  I really enjoyed it, and I feel like I learned something.

Low - Getting spacers in preparation for braces.  My teeth are killing me.  I can't eat anything solid.

S10 High - Grammar.  I wrote a poem I really liked. (It's included below.)
Low - Math, even though I did well on my fractions test.  What kids like math?  (M8 wants to let you know that a lot of kids like math.)

M8
High - Finishing Betsy-Tacy and Tib.  Math! It's my favorite subject.  I love my grammar test.  I got an A++.

Low - History.  I don't like the lessons.

Me High - Roller skating with co-op.  Finishing the entire Analytical Grammar curriculum with H13.
Low - Latin and science.  I have got to get a grip on these subjects! I could also add art and music to the list, but we won't even go there.

A Winter Friend

by Shane Johnson

One day, as I played in the snow,

I met a strange little fellow.

I took him home.

I woke up alone,

And in my bed there was yellow.

Advent: Day 23 - Christmas Adam

Today was our day to celebrate being a family at Christmas time.  I know, you are probably wondering what we've been doing for the last 23 days if not celebrating.  And, you are right.  We have celebrated all God's blessings for the last four weeks.  But, today was special.

First, we participated in the Nativity play at church.  H13 read the narration.  S10 was a wiseman and a shepherd.  M8 was the angel.  I wrote and directed the program.  If I do say so myself, it was lovely. 

After church, we enjoyed our normal Christmas Adam activities.  Each year we take this day and celebrate Christmas Adam, the day before Christmas Eve because as everyone knows Adam came before Eve.  Yes, it's a little goofy but we love it.  Here is a post I wrote several years ago about our Christmas Adam tradition. 

Today we shopped at a new Dollar Tree.  The kids are older and we just handed them their money and turned them loose.  They completed their shopping in less than half an hour.  They wrapped their own gifts without help.  Shane asked if plastic grocery bags were acceptable wrapping materials.  Nice try but, no, they aren't.  After our shopping was complete we enjoyed lunch at Applebee's, laughing and talking through it.  Our waitress was chatty and fun.  Our food was good.  The company was excellent.

A successful tradition continues.

Advent: Day 18 - Breakfast for Supper

Pancake sundaes, sausage and quiche were the highlights of this breakfast for supper. 

Everyone loved the concept.  We may have to do this more often.

Advent: Day 14 & 15 - Another Change in Plans

On Friday, we took a family walk then Rob and I went Christmas shopping and to his department Christmas party.  The kids picked up McDonald's for dinner and watched t.v.  Not exactly family Advent activities but necessary none the less.

On Saturday, we enjoyed a fire in the fireplace

 and made melting snowman cupcakes for the church Christmas dinner. 

Advent: Day 13 - St. Lucia

For several years we've saluted our Swedish heritage by celebrating St. Lucia day.  The idea of a blonde haired girl with a crown of candles is an appealing one for my daughters.  We let them carry candles if they choose but have always stopped them from putting anything burning on their heads.  In past years, I've made various kinds of cinnamon rolls and sweet buns.  This year I decided to make the real deal, St. Lucia buns.  Our activity of the day indicated that we were to have a tea party and celebrate St. Lucia.  Time ran short.  The bread didn't rise according to schedule.  Our tea party turned into dinner with St. Lucia (Italian pesto) soup.  M8 hauled out the tea party gear anyway.  I was just thankful she didn't want to light the candles and balance them on her head.

Despite the long rising time, the St. Lucia buns turned out beautifully.  Now that I know I can make this recipe and that it's very delicious, we'll be enjoying the real thing as part of our tradition.

Advent: Days 10, 11 & 12 - Candlelight Celebration, Cookies, and Conversation

We are still having a wonderful time with our Advent celebrations.  I just haven't been great about taking pictures and getting them posted.  This week we made gingerbread, but we still have the cookies to cut, bake and decorate.  The dough is waiting patiently in the refrigerator.  Things got busy on Monday and Tuesday nights.  

Tuesday we had our last co-op of the year and then went to the library.  Because of some errands that took longer than expected (Don't they always?!), we arrived at the library just a little late for the Christmas party.  We all got to enjoy grilled cheese sandwiches cut like gingerbread men and marshmallow snowmen.  After enjoying the library Christmas party and checking out a generous number of books, we took our food donation to the local food bank. That was a worthwhile adventure and one that we will repeat with more regularity.

Tuesday we followed the Advent plan as previously scheduled.  December 11 is my mother's birthday so a candle light dinner was the perfect way to celebrate.  I love celebrating birthdays even when the people we are celebrating can't be there to join us.  My picture doesn't really show our lovely ambiance because my flash works really well and I don't really understand all my camera's settings.  You'll just have to believe that the lights were out and that we did indeed have dinner by candle light. 



We even enjoyed birthday cake!  My Grandmother Westlund's recipe.  Someday I may share it here.

 On December 12 we made cookies, lots and lots of cookies.  Nutmeg, Lemon, and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip.  We are delivering cookie plates to our neighbors on December 13 so we had to get ready. 

Once the cookie bake-athon was done we met in the living room for a cookie and eggnog snack and Christmas conversation.  I love hearing my children talk about their favorite Christmas traditions and things the are looking forward to this year.  The conversation was full of side-tracks and off the wall comments but was fun. 

Advent: Day 9 - Little Women of Orchard House and Shopping for the Food Pantry

At this point I'm thinking that my plans for Advent were really just suggestions.  When I started thinking about Advent my purpose was to create a time that focused on being together as a family and thinking about God and others.  Even though we aren't following my original schedule exactly we are having a wonderful time. 

Today we went to see Little Women of Orchard House, a youth theater production of the Mid-Ohio Valley Players.  We've seen the movie version of Little Women and learned a bit about the time during the Civil War in the United States.  Our background knowledge made this play especially enjoyable.  We were all impressed with the quality of the performances and each had our favorite actor/character.

One of the things that I hadn't really planned was including a service activity on Sundays.  After our experience last week when we went shopping for a needy child, we decided that having a special others focused activity on Sunday was something we enjoyed and wanted to continue.  This week we decided to pick up food for our local food bank.  We'll be dropping the food we purchased on Tuesday.

Advent: Day 8 - Christmas Party

According to our original schedule, today was suppose to be the day we made gingerbread guys. Today was also the day of Rob's company's family Christmas party.  The gingerbread guys had to be put on hold to make time for saying goodbye to Grandmomma and Grandpap as they continued their drive to Florida. 

By the time we got dressed for the day it was time to leave for skating, pizza, and Santa courtesy of KERC.  While we skipped the gingerbread guys for now, we will definitely be making them before Christmas.