Monday, September 20, 2010

Knowing When to Begin

All of the changes and challenges of life begin somewhere.  Some begin accidentally.  Others begin with great planning and anticipation.  Whatever the beginning, change and challenge are part of the world we inhabit and I usually am able to embrace change and challenge and roll with it.  In fact, normally, I can work up to jumping into situations with enthusiasm and optimism.  I'm a planner but not a procrastinator.  Waiting even for a good reason does not come easily to me.

If you've read some of my past post you know that we've been waiting for some life changing decisions to be made and to make some ourselves.  In one sense, our waiting is over.  We have plans to change locations, job paths and lifestyles.  In another sense, we are still waiting.  DH is in Australia for a month and I am home with four children.  We're anxiously waiting for his return.  We have a house to sell and a house to buy.  We're waiting for relocation information to begin sorting through what must be done and with whom so we can receive all of our relocation benefits.  We are waiting and praying for direction concerning homeschooling our oldest dd. 

I'm hoping that all this waiting won't have dulled my sense of knowing when to begin.  I've set idle for so long I'm afraid my ability to move with purpose may have atrophied.  I've been collection farm information and unwanted items and storing them neatly for later use.   I know my new found knowledge will be helpful as we start our farm.  I know that lightening the load we move will make things less complicated and time consuming later. Both tasks are necessary but they don't truly feel proactive.  I desire to do something that will bring us closer to our next stage of life.  I want to search out the perfect realtor and then the perfect house.  I want to clear this house of all that won't be making the transition and watch it pass happily into its new owner's possession.  I want to pick paint colors and plan new rooms and spaces for my family to fill.  I want to pour over seed catalogs and breed information. I want to move forward.

I'm praying that the time to begin is soon and that all will fall into place quickly and easily.  But most of all, I'm praying that I know when to begin.

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