I love it when things in life knit themselves together. I watch it happen often in our learning. For instance, on Sunday our minister spent some time sharing about his trip to Israel. Last week, our history focused on the life and death of Christ and early Christianity. We are reading Ben-Hur. It all seems to be tied together. Those links are made in our lives and our brains without real effort or orchestration. I love it when that happens.
The same thing is happening since I read The Power of Habit. One of my things on my list for 2014 was to create a chore system for the kids and me that worked. As I read that book and thought about what I really want it occurred to me that I'm trying to create habits in my children.
My old method of assigning chores was to give each kid a chore for a week (wash dishes, load dishwasher/unload dishwasher/put clean dishes away, sweep and vacuum floors/wipe table and counters, take out trash and recycling). At the end of the week there would be a big discussion over who did or didn't finish the last of the dishes/floor/garbage and how to make it "fair". That was a weekly issue.
The other issue was the quality of work. Because each child only kept each job for a week they could blame faulty results on the child who had done the job prior to their tenure. There was no real incentive or accountability for good work or poor work. And really, there wasn't time to train for each job and expect mastery. By the time they understood the responsibilities and techniques of a job it was time to move on to the next job. They didn't repeat a job for three more weeks. All learning and skill was lost.
I've often thought that teaching kids how to do things is much harder than just doing them myself. So many times I can get something done faster and better on my own than if I farm it out. If I do something myself I know it's done correctly and meets whatever standard I've set. I also know that it truly is done and won't require extra work or supervision or fussing later.
The catch is that my purpose in raising my children is to train them in the way I would have them go. Or better yet, in the way God would have them go. To me this means that I am not striving to have good children. My effort is focused on creating outstanding adults. Because of this future focus I know that I must equip my children. Equipping takes time. It takes energy. It's a chore.
In light of my purpose and what I learned about building a habit I decided I needed to revamp the chores at our house. Rather than assigning a chore each week I determined that each child would do one chore for a month. In that month's time they would be able to master each job. While it might be tedious to do the same thing for a month, there would be no confusion over who had which responsibility. Once they were trained for each job so thoroughly they wouldn't have difficulty remembering what to do the next time the job was theirs. Training once and making it stick was a feature that really appealed to me.
Miraculously enough the new system is working. I'm afraid to say it yet but it seems to be true. I always know who is responsible and so do they. They are able to do the jobs and take pride in them. There is no question or debate or irritation about who should or shouldn't have done what. This new habit is forming. At our house, chores are not quite the chore they were.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Friday, March 14, 2014
Monday Munchies: Vanilla Scones
Yes, I am aware that it's not Monday. I am listing this recipe as a Monday Munchies because I think it will make it easier for me (and hopefully, you) to find it later.
I make these on a regular basis. They are a favorite at my house, especially when I add chocolate chips to the recipe. Yesterday I took a basket of these scones to an event and was asked for the recipe several times. Surprisingly, when I looked for the recipe online I couldn't find it. So, by request, here is my recipe for vanilla scones.
I make these on a regular basis. They are a favorite at my house, especially when I add chocolate chips to the recipe. Yesterday I took a basket of these scones to an event and was asked for the recipe several times. Surprisingly, when I looked for the recipe online I couldn't find it. So, by request, here is my recipe for vanilla scones.
Vanilla Scones
3 c flour
1/3 c sugar
2 T baking powder
1 t baking soda
1/2 c butter, softened
1 c vanilla yogurt
3/4 c add ins (dried fruit, chocolate chips, fresh fruit, nuts, etc.)
Preheat oven to 350°.
Mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, and baking soda. Add butter, and blend until mix resembles coarse cornmeal. Add yogurt and any add ins. Mix gently to create dough. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface and divide into two parts. Pat each dough half into a circle about 7" round, not quite 1" thick. Cut each circle into 8 wedges and place wedges, slightly separated, on baking sheet. Bake 15-20 minutes until lightly browned.
If dried fruit is used plump the fruit by covering the fruit with warm water and letting it stand for 10 minutes.
In a pinch you can substitute any flavor of yogurt for vanilla. You can also substitute up to 1/2 c sour cream for the same amount of yogurt.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Creatures of Habit
And so time keeps passing and writing is not a priority. I want it to be a priority. In my happy imaginings I am a writer. Sadly, in reality I am not doing any writing. It's difficult for even the greatest imagination to conjure a writer where no writing is taking place.
I've just finished a book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It speaks to how strongly routine without concious thought and intentional action controls our everyday behavior. There are so many every day behaviors that I would like to change. I'd like to exercise and write. I'd like to make sweets into special treats not every day expectations. I'd like to clean house on a routine so that it wasn't overwhelming. I'd like to be encouraging. That's a lot of change.
The good news is that habits can be changed. The other good news is one change often leads to other changes. A positive new habit often has a domino effect. One good change leads to other good changes.
As I review my list of things I'd like to change, I think that exercise is the biggest ticket item. I know it will benefit me. I know I will like the results. I know I am stubborn, hate exercise, and need a large push to be successful with this one. I've failed to incorporate regular exercise into my routine many times before. I've also been successful many times before. There are long periods in which exercise was a part of my life. The trick is to figure out what made exercise stick and what caused that period of routine exercise to be disrupted.
Today is Fat Tuesday. Tomorrow is the beginning of Lent. I think this is the perfect time for reflection and concentration on a change of habit. Turning my physical activity into an act of worship might just be an intentional act I can turn into a habit.
I've just finished a book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It speaks to how strongly routine without concious thought and intentional action controls our everyday behavior. There are so many every day behaviors that I would like to change. I'd like to exercise and write. I'd like to make sweets into special treats not every day expectations. I'd like to clean house on a routine so that it wasn't overwhelming. I'd like to be encouraging. That's a lot of change.
The good news is that habits can be changed. The other good news is one change often leads to other changes. A positive new habit often has a domino effect. One good change leads to other good changes.
As I review my list of things I'd like to change, I think that exercise is the biggest ticket item. I know it will benefit me. I know I will like the results. I know I am stubborn, hate exercise, and need a large push to be successful with this one. I've failed to incorporate regular exercise into my routine many times before. I've also been successful many times before. There are long periods in which exercise was a part of my life. The trick is to figure out what made exercise stick and what caused that period of routine exercise to be disrupted.
Today is Fat Tuesday. Tomorrow is the beginning of Lent. I think this is the perfect time for reflection and concentration on a change of habit. Turning my physical activity into an act of worship might just be an intentional act I can turn into a habit.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
A Glance Back and a Good Look Forward to 2014
Here is my look forward to 2013 from last January. It's a pretty extensive and exciting list. I accomplished a lot of that list including daily time with God, reading 52 books, eating and cooking good food, making my marriage a priority, going on a Disney cruise, and maintaining a debt free lifestyle while increasing savings.
There are also some areas where I didn't quite make my mark. My bee hives are a wreck. I didn't accomplish my goal with Operation Christmas Child. I don't have a working system for jobs, family time or serving others.
Rather than reinventing the wheel, I'm going to revise, edit, adding and subtracting to make a working plan for 2014. It might also be a great idea to look at this list more than once a year to remind myself of my intentions for the year.
1. continue to spend daily, personal time with God.
2. read at least 52 books.
3. develop a community relations team for Operation Christmas Child by adding one member and one event from each of my target counties.
4. participate in sustained physical activity/exercise at least three times each week.
5. maintain a healthy diet, heavy in fruits, veggies, and healthy choices.
6. continue to provide my family with meals that are healthy and, as much as possible, home made.
7. date my husband and nurture a relationship that will last for another 25+ years.
8. pray with Rob and for Rob daily.
9. create a planned family night each week.
10. enjoy family meals as often as possible.
11. celebrate Kady's graduation from high school.
12. SHOOPA!
13. provide opportunities and encouragement for family time that is physically active.
14. continue to pray for and with my children each day.
15. nurture closer relationships within our family by providing quality time, activities, and opportunity for interaction.
16. provide quality, personally matched education for each of my children.
17. continue to look for the best curriculum and educational opportunities for my children.
18. encourage reading, writing, independent learning, and personal growth in my children.
19. develop a plan for chores, jobs, compensation and cooperation that works for our family.
20. maintain a debt free lifestyle.
21. increase retirement contributions to 15%.
22. continue at current level of charitable giving.
23. continue college savings for all four children.
24. celebrate our 25th anniversary
25. be intentional about sharing time with friends.
26. complete one family act of service each month.
27. develop five year plan for the farm which includes raising turkeys, chickens, and grapes.
There are also some areas where I didn't quite make my mark. My bee hives are a wreck. I didn't accomplish my goal with Operation Christmas Child. I don't have a working system for jobs, family time or serving others.
Rather than reinventing the wheel, I'm going to revise, edit, adding and subtracting to make a working plan for 2014. It might also be a great idea to look at this list more than once a year to remind myself of my intentions for the year.
1. continue to spend daily, personal time with God.
2. read at least 52 books.
3. develop a community relations team for Operation Christmas Child by adding one member and one event from each of my target counties.
4. participate in sustained physical activity/exercise at least three times each week.
5. maintain a healthy diet, heavy in fruits, veggies, and healthy choices.
6. continue to provide my family with meals that are healthy and, as much as possible, home made.
7. date my husband and nurture a relationship that will last for another 25+ years.
8. pray with Rob and for Rob daily.
9. create a planned family night each week.
10. enjoy family meals as often as possible.
11. celebrate Kady's graduation from high school.
12. SHOOPA!
13. provide opportunities and encouragement for family time that is physically active.
14. continue to pray for and with my children each day.
15. nurture closer relationships within our family by providing quality time, activities, and opportunity for interaction.
16. provide quality, personally matched education for each of my children.
17. continue to look for the best curriculum and educational opportunities for my children.
18. encourage reading, writing, independent learning, and personal growth in my children.
19. develop a plan for chores, jobs, compensation and cooperation that works for our family.
20. maintain a debt free lifestyle.
21. increase retirement contributions to 15%.
22. continue at current level of charitable giving.
23. continue college savings for all four children.
24. celebrate our 25th anniversary
25. be intentional about sharing time with friends.
26. complete one family act of service each month.
27. develop five year plan for the farm which includes raising turkeys, chickens, and grapes.
Reflections on 2013
Another year sped by while I was busy living. How does that happen?
The older I get the more I realize how necessary it is to take a moment to reflect.
I was being pretty ugly to myself this morning. It's way too easy for me to beat myself up with the momentary discontentment rather than keeping my eye on the real accomplishments. In order to help myself out the next time I come at myself with that particular board and to get myself over the current episode of mud wallowing I offer this list of reflections and accomplishments for 2013:
Personally, I read more than 50 books, many of them classics. I spent time with lots of people I love including each of my family members, the Keegans, the Barnes family, cousins, and friends. Through various activities I became acquainted with new people. I hope that many will become friends. I celebrated life in big ways with parties and pig roasts and joyful reunions. I skiied, traveled (Richmond, Snow Shoe, St. Augustine, Louisville, St. Augustine, Washington, D.C., Tybee Island, Grand Caymen, Mexico), snorkled, climbed ruins, road trains, served God, my family and others. It's been a wonderful year!
Professionally, I taught 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th and 9th grades. I raised and harvested over 100 chickens. Hatched, with the help of an incubator, five turkeys for harvest. Raised and harvested two steers. Helped raise two sheep. Sold dozens and dozens of eggs. (Yes, I had some help with all this but it's a valid accomplishment.) I continued my volunteer role with Operation Christmas Child attending a connect conference that gave me an amazing picture of God's work in this ministry. I joined the leadership team of Cornerstone Co-op as their junior high coordinator.
Spiritually, Rob and I started sharing a daily Bible study and prayer time. We are learning more about God and each other with each lesson. We also are learning to support and hold each other accountable.
Emotionally, I continued to nurture relationships with my husband, children, sisters and parents. I consistently took part in several groups outside my family including a book club, homeschool co-op, and church groups. I desire to find a few close friends and am trying to identify those women. I have met several new, interesting, challenging, fun women this year.
Physically, I lost 20 pounds over the course of this year. I am makingbetter smaller food choices. For my family, I am being very conscious of the choices I make for them. We are eating more "real" food. I'm buying non-gmo grain products. I'm being very intentional in what I serve and eat. A glass of water before each meal has worked wonders.
The older I get the more I realize how necessary it is to take a moment to reflect.
I was being pretty ugly to myself this morning. It's way too easy for me to beat myself up with the momentary discontentment rather than keeping my eye on the real accomplishments. In order to help myself out the next time I come at myself with that particular board and to get myself over the current episode of mud wallowing I offer this list of reflections and accomplishments for 2013:
Personally, I read more than 50 books, many of them classics. I spent time with lots of people I love including each of my family members, the Keegans, the Barnes family, cousins, and friends. Through various activities I became acquainted with new people. I hope that many will become friends. I celebrated life in big ways with parties and pig roasts and joyful reunions. I skiied, traveled (Richmond, Snow Shoe, St. Augustine, Louisville, St. Augustine, Washington, D.C., Tybee Island, Grand Caymen, Mexico), snorkled, climbed ruins, road trains, served God, my family and others. It's been a wonderful year!
Professionally, I taught 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th and 9th grades. I raised and harvested over 100 chickens. Hatched, with the help of an incubator, five turkeys for harvest. Raised and harvested two steers. Helped raise two sheep. Sold dozens and dozens of eggs. (Yes, I had some help with all this but it's a valid accomplishment.) I continued my volunteer role with Operation Christmas Child attending a connect conference that gave me an amazing picture of God's work in this ministry. I joined the leadership team of Cornerstone Co-op as their junior high coordinator.
Spiritually, Rob and I started sharing a daily Bible study and prayer time. We are learning more about God and each other with each lesson. We also are learning to support and hold each other accountable.
Emotionally, I continued to nurture relationships with my husband, children, sisters and parents. I consistently took part in several groups outside my family including a book club, homeschool co-op, and church groups. I desire to find a few close friends and am trying to identify those women. I have met several new, interesting, challenging, fun women this year.
Physically, I lost 20 pounds over the course of this year. I am making
Reading List 2013
The Iliad by Homer translated by Robert Fagles
The Prayer Box by Lisa Wingate
The Truth About Style by Stacy London
Someone by Alice McDermott
Wicked Girls by Alex Marwood
Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight by M.E. Thomas
The Good Earth by Pearl Buck
The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin
Safe House by Chris Ewan
The Hero's Lot by Patrick Carr
A Cast of Stones by Patrick Carr
The Silver Star by Jeannette Walls
Gilgamesh: A New Rendering in English Verse by David Ferry
He Who Saw Everything by Robert Temple
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Gilgamesh: A Verse Play by Usef Komonyakaa & Chad Gracia
Mighty Be Our Powers by Leymah Gbowee
The Cherry Cola Book Club by Ashton Lee
Telling the Bees by Peggy Hesketh
The Woman Who Died A Lot by Jasper Fforde
Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott
The Complaints by Ian Rankin
Die Trying by Lee Child
And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini
Killing Floor by Lee Child
So Brave, Young, and Handsome by Leif Enger
One of Our Thursdays Is Missing by Jasper Fforde
Disobedience by Jane Hamilton
The Good Mother by Sue Miller
TransAtlantic by Colum McCann
The Last Original Wife by Dorothea Frank
Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou
First Among Sequels by Jasper Fforde
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde
The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
The Runaway King by Jennifer Nielsen
The False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen
Lost in a Good Book (A Thursday Next Novel) by Jasper Fforde
Consider the Fork: A History of How We Cook and Eat by Bee Wilson
The Light Between Oceans: A Novel by M.L. Stedman
The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel by Jasper Fforde
Legend by Marie Lu
Peace Like A River by Leif Enger
Tear Down the Walls! A History of the American Civil Rights Movement by Dorothy Sterling
The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
Falling Home by Karen White
Showdown Trail by Louis L'Amour
The Ruins of Lace by Iris Anthony
Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare
The Round House by Louise Erdrich
The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles
Thirteen Days/Ninety Miles: The Cuban Missile Crisis by Norman Finkelstein
City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare
City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
City of Glass by Cassandra Clare
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
Eighty Days: Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland's History-Making Race Around the World by Matthew Goodman
The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn
The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott
One Shot by Lee Child
The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry
The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman
Notorious Nineteen by Janet Evanovich
Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
The Merchant's Daughter by Melanie Dickerson
Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
The Best Bad Luck I Ever Had by Kristin Levine
Marmee & Louisa: The Untold Story of Louisa May Alcott and Her Mother by Eve LaPlante
Elsewhere: A Memoir by Richard Russo
The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin
Brilliance by Marcus Sakey
The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce
Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler
Allegiant by Veronica Roth
Gideon Smith and the Mechanical Girl by David Barnett
Prairie Tales by Melissa Gilbert
The Prayer Box by Lisa Wingate
The Truth About Style by Stacy London
Someone by Alice McDermott
Wicked Girls by Alex Marwood
Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight by M.E. Thomas
The Good Earth by Pearl Buck
The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin
Safe House by Chris Ewan
The Hero's Lot by Patrick Carr
A Cast of Stones by Patrick Carr
The Silver Star by Jeannette Walls
Gilgamesh: A New Rendering in English Verse by David Ferry
He Who Saw Everything by Robert Temple
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Gilgamesh: A Verse Play by Usef Komonyakaa & Chad Gracia
Mighty Be Our Powers by Leymah Gbowee
The Cherry Cola Book Club by Ashton Lee
Telling the Bees by Peggy Hesketh
The Woman Who Died A Lot by Jasper Fforde
Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott
The Complaints by Ian Rankin
Die Trying by Lee Child
And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini
Killing Floor by Lee Child
So Brave, Young, and Handsome by Leif Enger
One of Our Thursdays Is Missing by Jasper Fforde
Disobedience by Jane Hamilton
The Good Mother by Sue Miller
TransAtlantic by Colum McCann
The Last Original Wife by Dorothea Frank
Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou
First Among Sequels by Jasper Fforde
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde
The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
The Runaway King by Jennifer Nielsen
The False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen
Lost in a Good Book (A Thursday Next Novel) by Jasper Fforde
Consider the Fork: A History of How We Cook and Eat by Bee Wilson
The Light Between Oceans: A Novel by M.L. Stedman
The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel by Jasper Fforde
Legend by Marie Lu
Peace Like A River by Leif Enger
Tear Down the Walls! A History of the American Civil Rights Movement by Dorothy Sterling
The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
Falling Home by Karen White
Showdown Trail by Louis L'Amour
The Ruins of Lace by Iris Anthony
Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare
The Round House by Louise Erdrich
The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles
Thirteen Days/Ninety Miles: The Cuban Missile Crisis by Norman Finkelstein
City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare
City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
City of Glass by Cassandra Clare
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
Eighty Days: Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland's History-Making Race Around the World by Matthew Goodman
The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn
The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott
One Shot by Lee Child
The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry
The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman
Notorious Nineteen by Janet Evanovich
Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
The Merchant's Daughter by Melanie Dickerson
Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
The Best Bad Luck I Ever Had by Kristin Levine
Marmee & Louisa: The Untold Story of Louisa May Alcott and Her Mother by Eve LaPlante
Elsewhere: A Memoir by Richard Russo
The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin
Brilliance by Marcus Sakey
The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce
Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler
Allegiant by Veronica Roth
Gideon Smith and the Mechanical Girl by David Barnett
Prairie Tales by Melissa Gilbert
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